This post was sponsored by Finess and Soft Health Technologies LLC. All opinions (and embarrassing mom moments) are all mine.
I often joke that my standards have drastically lowered since becoming a mom but it’s really not a joke because it’s true. I guess it’s better to laugh about it than cry about it, right?
I also like to joke that I knew everything about being a mom before I was one. I remember being an unencumbered, un-stretch marked young thing who gaped in horror at a mom who picked up her baby and sniffed its butt like it was absolutely no big deal. I remember thinking “How embarrassing. I’d never do that.”
The list of things I said I wouldn’t do as a mom before I was one is long and distinguished. So is the list of things that embarrassed me. Motherhood has a way of changing us and humbling us…and let’s be real: we’re so tired and pulled in so many directions trying to do so many things and we’re often just too over it to care.
Here are four things that don’t embarrass me now that I’m a mom:
1. Not looking my best
Don’t get me wrong…I still care what I look like. Just not as much.
I like to look nice. I spend a small fortune on hair color because I don’t want the world to see the gray.
I buy pretty, stylish clothes. Sometimes I wear shoes that pinch my feet because they’re cute.
I also go for days at a time without washing my hair. Sometimes, I make an effort and spray myself down with dry shampoo and that handy smelly spray from Bath and Body Works. It makes me smell clean and pretty and fakes you out. Winning.
Other times, I just throw the whole greasy mess on top of my head and Febreeze myself if I have to go out in public. If the cashier in the grocery store or the neighbors silently question my personal hygiene? I. Don’t. Care.
I’m okay with leaving the house in tee-shirts that have coffee stains, and, let’s be real…probably snot stains from where I’ve wiped someone’s nose with the hemline. Maybe my own.
I put on a sweatshirt over my pajamas, even when it’s warm outside, to hide the fact that I’m not wearing a bra. And yep, I leave the house like this, to take my kids to school. If I see someone I know? Eh. There are worse things.
2. Talking about bodily fluids
Mine. Theirs. Maybe yours. My tolerance for grossness is pretty high.
Sniffing a kid’s diaper in public to see if he dispensed some actual soft serve or if it’s just gas? No problem.
You don’t earn your stripes as a mom until you’ve been pooped on and puked on. I’ve been sprayed in the face with little boy urine (gotta be quick with that diaper and keep your mouth closed!) Once, one of my kids blew chunks in my hair. I wiped it up with a towel and didn’t wash it until the next day.
Motherhood (and aging in general) does a number on our bodies. Stretch marks. Saggy, baggy, body parts. Hormonal surges that make us cry over cat food commercials and make long, dark hairs sprout from our chin (and other places.)
And the whole moment of panic during a sneeze. You know, where you clench your legs and hope your bladder isn’t super full and that you don’t wet your pants.
One in four women over 40 experience stress urinary incontinence. Different things can cause it: pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause. The first time I peed my pants as an adult was during the latter part of my pregnancy. My doctor told me that this was due to my growing baby pressing on my bladder.
Unfortunately, my pelvic floor never bounced back after I had my daughter and menopause has intensified the sneeze-pee experience for me. I don’t do things like jumping jacks or bounce on a trampoline and I’ve had to make adjustments when I do certain exercises. I’ll probably always have that moment of “did I?” when I cough or laugh too hard.
If you haven’t experienced stress urinary incontinence, the odds are that you will at some point. Finess is the first product that stops bladder leaks that is comfortable and discreet. While my threshold for stuff that embarrasses me is certainly lower than it was when I was younger, peeing all over myself in public or smelling like urine isn’t something I want to deal with.
You can purchase Finess directly from their website (use the code RJB10 for 10% off.)
Check out my Facebook Live for more info on Finess:
3. Letting loose and acting silly
I remember a time when I would check myself in public. I was self-conscious about laughing too loud, wearing something that was flashy, silly, or age-inappropriate (like a 40-something year old woman wearing a Strawberry Shortcake tee-shirt…ahem) or any kind of letting loose.
I worried about what people would think or say…and this was in the days before social media! I was ever-conscious of who was giving me the side-eye at the grocery store when I caught myself singing “Pour Some Sugar on Me” in the aisles. Shut up, 80's music is awesome. I actually had to muster courage and grit my teeth before putting “sensitive”items like tampons on that checkout counter conveyor belt because the checkout person would know that I had my period.
Gasps. Clutches pearls.
Those days are gone. I wear what makes me feel good.That might be something semi-stylish or it might be something I plucked from the hamper. Whatever. If I want to have a dance-off with my kids in Walmart, I do. If I need something, I buy it because what the checkout person thinks of my purchases or my life is the last thing in the world I care about.
Maybe getting older has mellowed me out some. Maybe the fact that I have kids that are at that fun age where a Moana sing-a-long at Home Depot is incredibly cool and I want to share in the joy of being silly with them.
Oversharing is what gets me through motherhood. It's what helps us make connections with strangers who become friends and it helps us feel less alone. There are lots of embarrassing and gross things about being a mom that are pretty normal and its validating to know that other people go through these things, too.
I want to know there are other moms out there rocking their greasy, messy buns and and crossing their legs when they feel a good sneeze coming on. To get that sense of community, you have to open up a little, and show people your soft little underbelly. I know that one is a metaphor but I literally have a soft underbelly. And, we'll just pretend it's little.
Mom life is messy but the beauty is in the mess. Maybe you're like me and are past getting embarrassed about the things that make us moms.
Thanks, Finess for sponsoring this post! Don't forget to check out their website!