This post was sponsored by Finess and Soft Health Technologies LLC. All opinions (and gross stories about being a mom) are all mine.
Being a mom is awesome. I mean…it’s also stressful and confusing and, at times, super disgusting. From the havoc pregnancy and childbirth wreak on our bodies to the really strange things we do when we become moms, I could probably write a novel about the things about motherhood that are just gross.
But, here are just a few. I’m sure you mamas out there can relate…and if you’re not a mom and want to become one someday? You might want to stop reading right here. You have been warned!
4 Things About Motherhood that are Just Gross
1. Cleaning up bodily fluids that aren’t yours
When we become moms, we sign on for a lifetime of cleaning up stuff that oozes out of other humans. No one really lays it out there like that, but it’s true!
When we first become moms, we accept the gross factor of diapers. We know we’re going to spend the first three (or so) years of our child’s life cleaning up pee and poop. We know that we’re going to be wiping butts for another three (or so) years beyond that until the kids learn to get it right.
We prepare. We stock up on diapers and we have a container of wipes in all of our bags, in the car and in every corner of our home. We know that this is part of the baby and toddler years.
Then, our precious little ones catch a cold and we’re introduced to the nasal bulb syringe – that weird little device designed to suck snot out of our kid’s nose.
Then tummy trouble comes along and we learn that we are willing to catch someone else’s vomit with our bare hands.
My seven year olds are still perfecting the perfect aim, which means that I disinfect the base of the toilet and the bathroom floor at least three times a week…unless I want to just live with that gross “boy bathroom smell.”
And, if we’re being honest, it’s pretty darn easy to just ignore the “boy bathroom smell.” Maybe I’m just used to it.
There are lots of things about motherhood that are just gross. I think sometimes we become immune to them.
2. The “Peeze”
I love a good sneeze, don’t you? Except when a sneeze turns into a “peeze.” For me, the odds of that happening are about 50 percent, depending on how much liquid I’ve recently ingested.
We all know the peeze, where you pee a little (or a lot) when you sneeze. Or cough. Or jump up and down. Or laugh really hard.
My first peeze was during my second trimester of pregnancy. Pregnancy in of itself is pretty gross (whole other story) but peeing my pants at the grocery store was horrifying.
My doctor explained to me that the baby was placing a lot of pressure on my bladder, and the explanation she gave made sense. I thought this was just one more pregnancy side effect I’d have to deal with short-term.
Nope. All the nopes in Nopeville.
The peeze was with me for life. I know I’m not alone. One in four women over 40 experience stress urinary incontinence. Different things can cause it: pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause. My pelvic floor never really bounced back after pregnancy and menopause has intensified the peeze experience for me, to the point where I automatically cross my legs when I have to sneeze. That’s super cute when I’m out in public, and while that move is a little bit embarassing, it’s not as embarrasing as peeing my pants. Ask me how I know.
If you haven’t experienced stress urinary incontinence, the odds are that you will at some point. While it certainly isn’t fun, it is manageable, and thanks to Finess I can finally do something about it.
Finess is the first product that stops bladder leaks that is comfortable and discreet. No more wet undies. No more embarrassment over people at the gym looking at you weird…”Is that sweat on her leggings or did she pee herself?” UGH, right? No one likes this stuff, people.
I’ve tried panty liners or bladder control pads but they just don’t work. Sure, they absorb the pee but it’s still kind of gross. You worry about the smell. They chafe. It’s just stinkin’ uncomfortable pun intended.
I experience none of that with Finess. Here’s how it works:
Finess is really easy to use. It does take a couple of tries to get comfy with things (similar to learning to use tampons) but the learning curve is really quick. You can run, laugh, do jumping jacks and even sneeze without worrying that you’re going to pee your pants in public. It’s really been a game-changer for me.
Finess is a small soft foam patch that gently seals over the urethral opening to prevent leaks from happening.
Their goal is to provide women with a discreet and comfortable option for those annoying little leaks so they can sneeze, cough, exercise, or just go about their day without worry.
I’m a busy mom. I have a lot of stuff on my plate and I’m constantly going in about 30 different directions. The last thing I need to be worried about is changing my underwear during the day.
Finess is comfortable. It’s discreet…it comes in this tiny pouch we can tuck in our gym bag, our car, and all of our purses…let’s be real…in all the places where we stash wet wipes and tweezers. You can even carry it in your pocket.
The peeze is gross…but it is a part of motherhood that most moms (or women of a certain age) are familiar with. Fortunately, we don’t have to suck up the embarrassment of wet undies or worrying about smell. It might be a little awkward to talk about, but it shouldn’t be.
3. You will find stuff in your house that is utterly disgusting
I’m not talking about cleaning the boy’s bathroom…although that is a special level of yuck all its own. I’m talking about the things you find when you’re cleaning or just because. I found a petrified chicken nugget underneath my refrigerator…and yes, being a mom to two small boys means you do need to clean under your fridge because you will find all kinds of weird stuff under there. There was some doubt in my mind as to whether it was really a chicken nugget because it was vaguely mouse shaped but for my own piece of mind, we are going to just go with chicken nugget.
The mother of all grossness happened last year when I found the container my kids’ Lincoln Logs came in full of pee in the playroom closet. When I asked why, the answer was “because the bathroom was too far away.” You can literally SEE the bathroom from our playroom, but whatever.
I found what I think used to be a piece of string cheese in my son’s lunchbox back in August. It had sat there all summer long and I don’t have words to describe the smell. Obviously, we threw the lunchbox away and I briefly considered moving. I know that was technically my fault since I should have made sure there was no food in the lunchbox before I packed it away for the summer, but still.
4. You will do gross stuff
You will use your own spit to clean the face of your small humans, catch vomit in your bare hands without skipping a beat, and you will investigate and ask questions about poop that isn’t your own. You will pick up a pacifier off of the grocery store floor and suck it to make sure the germs are removed before you give it back to your baby.
You will sniff someone else’s butt. In public.
I swore I would never, ever, ever, ever be the mom who did the public diaper sniff. There were certainly more discreet and refined ways to check to see if a baby had a dirty diaper. I soon learned that discreet and refined were not words that applied to me anymore.
Yes, there are lots (and lots and lots) of things about motherhood that are just gross but you know what? Being a mom is the best thing I’ve ever done and I consider it my most important accomplishment. See also it’s really expanded my definition of gross.
But, in all seriousness, if you’re dealing with light to moderate bladder leaks – AKA “the peeze” – you don’t have to suffer. You don’t have to “just deal with it.” You might find a learning curve with using Finess but it’s really easy to get used to. I don’t worry about being out and about and trying to figure out how I’m going to deal with wet underwear or wondering if other people think I smell like pee.
But, I still cross my legs when I sneeze. That routine is hardwired into my muscle memory, man.
You can purchase Finess directly from their website (use the code RJB10 for 10% off.) You can get your Finess discreetly delivered to your door and no one needs to know your business. Winning.
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