8 reasons why Costco is the coolest store ever

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Hey, you know that song from “Frozen” that starts with “do you wanna build a snowman?”  Of course you do.  Oh…song stuck in your head?  Welcome to my world.

Around my house, we sing “do you wanna go to Costco” so if you’re a Costco groupie like me, maybe that tune is now just a teensy bit more tolerable? Just a little?

8 Reasons why Costco is the coolest store ever|Ripped Jeans and Bifocals|Costco|ShoppingI believe in Heaven and Hell.  I know the Bible offers a description of both places but I kinda like to think Heaven is just a little bit like Costco.  Because I really just love it that effing much.

Here are a few reasons why I think Costco is the coolest store EVER.

1. Free Samples

I mean…duh.  On my last Costco graze-a-palooza I started with garlic bread washed down with energy drink.  The sample dude swore this energy drink cured his ADHD and acne, which I thought was TMI, but that's okay…I'm an over-sharing kinda girl as well, so I get it.   

I moved on to tomato soup, fat-free popcorn, hummus and an egg white omelet.  Quite the spread, although I did tell the popcorn sample lady that I thought fat-free popcorn just seemed sort of wrong. I don’t think she really cared and I scarfed it down anyway.  I finished with sinfully yummy dark chocolate pretzel caramel orgasm bites (okay maybe they weren’t actually called orgasm bites but they should be.)

2. Hot Dog Deal

If the free samples don’t fill you up, there’s a snack bar, too.  A hot dog and a drink for $1.50?  How amazing is that?  Costco makes the best-ever hot dogs, unless you're one of those people who actually thinks about where hot dogs come from…then maybe not.

3. Churros

The snack bar has these, too and there are just not enough happy things I can say about fried dough rolled in sugar.  Especially when it costs a dollar.

4. Stretchy, comfy clothes

What better to sell in the land of eternal snacking than loose-fitting clothes?  Costco has a yummy array of tights, sweats (oh, riiight…we call those yoga pants now) and oversized hoodies that hide your ass.  Great stuff to wear while you’re nestled on your couch binge-watching Netflix and munching on dark chocolate pretzel caramel orgasm bites.

5. Jumbo pallets of toilet paper

I don’t really need to explain why this is just awesome, right?  Or is that just me?  If jumbo pallets of toilet paper don’t trip your trigger, there’s also jumbo pallets of sticky notes and jumbo pallets of instant mashed potatoes….to each their own jumbo pallet fetish.  I’m partial to toilet paper but I have a big family and butt-wiping is sort of important.

6. Double-seater shopping carts

I can strap both my small humans in and browse to my heart’s content.  I can paw through piles of stretchy pants goodness while sipping an espresso sample and they can't escape. They don't mind too much. I give them each a dollar churro to help ensure a peaceful shopping trip.  There’s a lot to be said for no fighting over whose turn it is to sit in the back of the cart with the food because no kid likes it when you try to squash him with a super-sized package of ground round.

7. Cheap booze

Kirkland brand is so much more than economy-sized boxes of fruit snacks…they make wine and it's actually more than respectable. Good wine doesn’t have to cost a ton and there’s really just something wonderful about a jumbo bottle of reasonably priced boozy goodness.  Nothing says classy like Costco brand cab, people.

[Tweet “Nothing says classy like Kirkland brand Cabernet #Costco”]

These are all good reasons to love Costco.  But my top reason for loving Costco is simple…

8. Because it’s Costco

Honestly, my husband could get almost as much hummana hummana meow meow action from taking me on a date to Costco than a fancy dinner and a chick flick.  Almost…


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    1. Exactly! We live dangerously close to Costco…no Sam’s in our neck of the woods and that’s probably a good thing. But yay for the free samples!!!!

  1. Oh man, I was *just* thinking yesterday that I need to make a trip to Costco to buy a pallet of toilet paper. Cause, really, who wants to buy that every other week at the grocery store? (Seriously, I make trips to Costco just to buy toilet paper.)

  2. I have approximately, and this is just an estimation, about 15 pairs of their ‘stretchy pants’. (I am trying to avoid the word ‘yoga pants’ in 2015). They are the best and they are $14.99. P.S. I love this post. Dooo you want to go to Costcoooooooo???? Great. Just great.

  3. First of all, I’m totally singing the song “dooo you wanna go to Costcoooooo” in my head now. Haha. I absolutely adore Costco… my only gripe is that it’s always so dang packed… unless I go when they first open in the AM – doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend, weekday, whateve – there are always people all over that place. Can’t blame them though! I get all the kids lunch snacks and yes, toilet paper, from Costco. It’s surely an awesome place.

  4. I love me some Costco too! I heard they will be selling Kirkland beer. I heard it’s pretty good. I heard it won in some blind taste-test thingy. That’s the sample I want.

  5. There’s only two of us in my household and yet jumbo pallets of butt paper are mucho important around here. There’s nothing more terrifying than getting down to the last roll and someone is either having stomach issues or someone is too lazy to go to the store. Oh sure, we’ll do a midnight run to get wine or a cheap burger thanks to booze munchies, but TP? Nah. Priorities, yo.

  6. This is all true, but you’re going to probably have tape worms, fungi and other strange creatures swimming around in your blood stream and gut from the Costco food you’re eating. Those hot dogs are actually made from horse hooves and pig ass. I know they taste good, but please watch your poop closely for foreign objects- god only knows what they’ve put in the churros. Probably discarded fat from a lipo procedure.
    That said, I do love taking my kids there for “lunch”. The samples fill them up and the orgasm popcorn stuff is the icing on the cake for them. Ahhhh, Costco.

  7. This is hilarious! I never go to Costco or any of those bulk places.. I have no idea why.. I just don’t feel like I NEED that much of anything… even though all my friends tell me I am missing out!

  8. I have never experienced the magic of Costco, but we do have a Sams club. Meh. I think until we get a house big enough for all that stuff, it is just not worth my time.

  9. Love this, and I started singing before I even opened your post (just seeing the title). I love Cotsco, but try not to go too often because I can’t walk out for under $150… And my Costco doesn’t sell wine. Have you had the chickens? They are what draws me back, craving those rotisserie chickens!

  10. You are making me almost cave here to get that yearly membership and not keep using my MIL’s every blue moon when I get the desire to travel about 20 minutes to our local Costco. I guess for me our local supermarket though is 5 minutes away and just so much more convenient and less time consuming to go there, but still it is a very enticing store, isn’t it?!! 😉

  11. I own 3 pairs of the Kirkland brand PJ pants as do my 2 other sisters and we LIVE in them. My Mom gives us a pair at Christmas and they’re the best. I had Kirkland brand wine this weekend and it was also damn good. Glad you share my love! HAHA!

  12. I have six kids three of which live out of the house. We all meet at Costco on the weekends cuz we love the gorgeous fruit and great sales. Then all hit my (moms) house make dinner and play se

  13. I have six kids three of which live out of the house. We all meet at Costco on the weekends cuz we love the gorgeous fruit and great sales. Then all hit my (moms) house make dinner and play sequence till 4:00 in the morning.

  14. We don’t live near Costco any more which might be a good thing. It’s like adult candy-land. Two pairs yoga pant, endless book choices, snacking then find more stuff not on your list. Oh and the seasonal goodies! Add wine, get a second cart. Then several hours later….

  15. I love Costco! Love buying things in bulk and I especially love the free samples.

    Thank you for tossing your hat into the ring at the Party Under The Big Top! We hope to see you again next week! #BigTopBlogParty

  16. Oh my gosh I am so tired of that dang snowman song but adding Costco to it actually makes it tolerable! lol I am a Costco junkie myself and am a Kirkland Wine fan as well. I am not just hooked on their pallets of toilet paper but just about everything they have in there… Seriously, it is worse than my soda addiction I swear! Every other weekend my daughters and I have “lunch” at Costco just from their samples alone but of course we gorge ourselves with a visit to the snack bar as we are leaving as well! HA!

    This was such a great post! Thank you for joining us and linking up to Party Under the Big Top! Hope to see you again next time!

    Wishing you a fabulous week!

    Much love,
    Lysa xx
    Welcome to My Circus

  17. This is a weird reason to love Costco, but… I also appreciate that they pay their employees so well. I feel better about shopping places where people get treated fairly, and it makes a better shopping experience too. Great post. 🙂


  19. Love it! I do love Costco. Totally agree about it being heaven… though then again with all of the temptations, maybe it is a bit like hell 😉 My son and I split one of those big churros just this last Friday, so good!

    Thanks so much for linking up with the Best of the Blogosphere

  20. I have never been inside a Costco, but my friend who lives in an area with both Sams Club and Costco just made the switch to Costco, and loves it! She says their variety, and quality of products is a bit better than Sams. Thanks for sharing!! #shinebloghop

  21. Costco on free sample day is wonderful — we always buy at least one thing we have sampled. Also, you forgot to mention the deliciousness that is Costco pizza! I will have to try a churro next time though 😀

  22. I was so bummed that in my liberal Boston yuppie/hippie suburb, the Costco had no – none – humane meat. Not even Applegate brand, which most grocery places have these days.

    BJs (worst/best name ever) had a whole Applegate _section,_ plus wildcaught fish, plus cage free eggs.

    I was bummed, since Costco has a good reputation for how it treats employees, it was surprising to be so far behind in treatment of animals. And its wine. But no humane meat, no membership.

  23. We make a monthly trip to Costco for our necessities. My husband has decided that it’s his go-to for casual clothes and truly, he does get some good stuff. You have to pick and choose, though.

  24. Hi Jill….Yes I’m a Costco addict too! In fact, I even bought Costco stock because I believe in the company so much. Not only do they offer great products at good prices, they take care of their employees too. Love the company–but not so much I want my husband to take me there on a date! ~Kathy

  25. Even before I actually went clicked the link to come to from Facebook, I sang “do you wanna go to Costco.”

    I don’t have kids and that’s in my head. Always. 😛

  26. I’m with you. My daughter, grandkids and I would make our weekly trip to Costco’s. Most of our family and friends just thought it was to do our weekly grocery shopping but no – it was to have lunch. It was like having lunch at a restaurant, like the Wood Grill, where you have endless choices, buffet style, And then to boot – IT WAS FREE!!!!!! Of course, we fit in a little shopping.

  27. I think you’re my new Costco wife, Jill! TP, Yoga pants (yes. they. are), booze, hot dog deal…yes, I wanna go to Costco. Do you have the wholesale discount so you earn $$ every time you shop? Stumbled and Tweeted 🙂