Hey, you know that song from “Frozen” that starts with “do you wanna build a snowman?” Of course you do. Oh…song stuck in your head? Welcome to my world.
Around my house, we sing “do you wanna go to Costco” so if you’re a Costco groupie like me, maybe that tune is now just a teensy bit more tolerable? Just a little?
Here are a few reasons why I think Costco is the coolest store EVER.
1. Free Samples
I mean…duh. On my last Costco graze-a-palooza I started with garlic bread washed down with energy drink. The sample dude swore this energy drink cured his ADHD and acne, which I thought was TMI, but that’s okay…I’m an over-sharing kinda girl as well, so I get it.
I moved on to tomato soup, fat-free popcorn, hummus and an egg white omelet. Quite the spread, although I did tell the popcorn sample lady that I thought fat-free popcorn just seemed sort of wrong. I don’t think she really cared and I scarfed it down anyway. I finished with sinfully yummy dark chocolate pretzel caramel orgasm bites (okay maybe they weren’t actually called orgasm bites but they should be.)
2. Hot Dog Deal
If the free samples don’t fill you up, there’s a snack bar, too. A hot dog and a drink for $1.50? How amazing is that? Costco makes the best-ever hot dogs, unless you’re one of those people who actually thinks about where hot dogs come from…then maybe not.
The snack bar has these, too and there are just not enough happy things I can say about fried dough rolled in sugar. Especially when it costs a dollar.
4. Stretchy, comfy clothes
What better to sell in the land of eternal snacking than loose-fitting clothes? Costco has a yummy array of tights, sweats (oh, riiight…we call those yoga pants now) and oversized hoodies that hide your ass. Great stuff to wear while you’re nestled on your couch binge-watching Netflix and munching on dark chocolate pretzel caramel orgasm bites.
5. Jumbo pallets of toilet paper
I don’t really need to explain why this is just awesome, right? Or is that just me? If jumbo pallets of toilet paper don’t trip your trigger, there’s also jumbo pallets of sticky notes and jumbo pallets of instant mashed potatoes….to each their own jumbo pallet fetish. I’m partial to toilet paper but I have a big family and butt-wiping is sort of important.
6. Double-seater shopping carts
I can strap both my small humans in and browse to my heart’s content. I can paw through piles of stretchy pants goodness while sipping an espresso sample and they can’t escape. They don’t mind too much. I give them each a dollar churro to help ensure a peaceful shopping trip. There’s a lot to be said for no fighting over whose turn it is to sit in the back of the cart with the food because no kid likes it when you try to squash him with a super-sized package of ground round.
7. Cheap booze
Kirkland brand is so much more than economy-sized boxes of fruit snacks…they make wine and it’s actually more than respectable. Good wine doesn’t have to cost a ton and there’s really just something wonderful about a jumbo bottle of reasonably priced boozy goodness. Nothing says classy like Costco brand cab, people.
These are all good reasons to love Costco. But my top reason for loving Costco is simple…
8. Because it’s Costco
Honestly, my husband could get almost as much hummana hummana meow meow action from taking me on a date to Costco than a fancy dinner and a chick flick. Almost…