I Will Rule the World in my Yoga Pants

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My husband and I went on a date last week. Translation: we went to Costco without the kids. I was dressed to impress. Translation: my yoga pants did not bear visible signs of anything my kids ate earlier that day and I had on lipstick.

As we strolled through the aisles in search of yummy free samples and bulk good deals, all the guys were checking me out. The undisguised lust in the eyes of shoppers (and that guy passing out energy drink samples) was really starting to piss my husband off.

What I look like at Costco...not.
What I look like at Costco…not.

Here we were trying to have quality time as a couple and my 48 year-old butt in encased in Target’s finest Lycra was causing a disturbance worthy of intervention by the Costco security team. When I bent over to hoist a six-pack of organic tomato soup into the cart, all my adoring admirers were treated to an eyeful of my granny panties creeping above the waistband of my sexy yoga pants…I really should have known better than to dress so trampy for a public outing.

As if.

Blogger Veronica Partridge’s (like the bird and the family, ya know) “yoga pants are for sinners” post is making the internet rounds. If you haven’t read it, click HERE to read about how Veronica had some kind of epiphany that made her uncomfortable with wearing form-fitting leggings or yoga pants in public.  If you read the linked article, you will see a pretty young woman embracing her husband.  I think you are supposed to ignore the body hugging skinny jeans she wears while leaning against her husband in what some might call a seductive embrace.

Because those are totally different than yoga pants.

I personally wouldn’t call the images seductive, but hey…there are people who see the semi-officially sanctioned mom uniform as lust inciting, just like Veronica's husband. This picture of Miss skinny-jeans-that-might-as-well-be-leggings canoodling with her man might be considered sexy. Lusty is in the eye of the beholder, people.  But seriously, it looks like our dear Veronica is wearing (gasp!) leggings.  The linked article shows a close up of her legs, probably to reassure everyone that her snug trousers are made of denim and not some sort of slutty Lycra.

It might be a stretch but I like to think that moms – the yoga pants wearing mafia – rule the world. We might rule the world in a quiet, behind the scenes way, but if you think about world order in very basic terms, shit wouldn’t get done if moms weren’t doing their thing.

Moms are responsible for getting everyone up in the morning, organizing meals, snacks and extracurricular time-suckers that teach the best of the best social, athletic and organizational skills. Great leaders, inventors and strategists didn’t just morph in to positions of power and influence. Someone reared them, nurtured them and made sure they had clean undies and ate their veggies. In this day and age, that someone is probably a frazzled, overtasked, overcaffinated maybe unshowered yoga pants wearing mom.

Yoga pants are comfortable. If someone wants to look at my ass and think lustful and naughty things, I’ve got a couple of thoughts. The first is “woot, I’ve still got it” and the second is “you might need to raise your standards just a smidge, m’kay?”

[Tweet “If you're looking at my yoga pants with lust in your eyes, you might need to raise your standards”]

I’m cool with Veronica’s convictions. I’m a live and let live girl, and within reason, I don’t really give a rat’s ass how people dress when they go out in public. If I see someone wearing tacky, slutty or just plain weird clothing, maybe I stare, giggle or roll my eyes. But at the end of the day, I don’t care what other people wear.

That said, I find her sanctimommy attitude more than a little disturbing. Although she begins her diatribe against form fitting clothing with a disclaimer that her intent isn’t to tell other women how to dress, the underlying message is “you’re a hussy if you leave your house in yoga pants or tights because other men might ogle your bitties and it’s your fault.”

She mentions wanting to set a good example of modest dressing for her daughter. Good for her. I guess she’s also going to teach her daughter that women are responsible for men not being able to control themselves. I usually just shake my head and maybe roll my eyes a little when I read something like this, but at its most basic form, this article is taking us back to the “and what were you wearing, miss” line of questioning when we interview a rape victim. Veronica Partridge’s message goes beyond the simple choice of what to wear…it suggests that men aren’t responsible for their thoughts and maybe their actions just because a woman is wearing leggings or yoga pants.

My parting shots:

Only on the internet in 2015 can one woman’s vow not to wear a certain type of clothes make headline news;

Jesus loves me. He loves yoga pants, too. He didn’t tell me this or anything but Ima gonna go with my gut on that one;

Everyone still has free will. Dudes, if you don’t want to lust over my (or anyone’s) yoga pants wearing booty, practice some restraint and freakin’ look away; and

Moms in yoga pants rule the world. That’s all.

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  1. Thank you. I giggled. Mom’s do rule, except in certain parts of our world. I can’t help but think that if Mom’s ruled in those areas the world would have to be a better place. I had read the other blog about yoga pants earlier, and I have to say it disturbed me…let’s go back to earlier days became frightening.

  2. All bow down to the inventor of yoga pants. I loved this entire post… mainly because I took my daughter and a friend of hers to Target wearing – wait for it – YOGA pants. I honestly have more pairs of yoga pants than I do dress pants. And if some guys want to stare at my 45 year old ass in the store – well so be it. Thanks for the smile. Here’s to many more comfortable days in our yoga pants.

  3. You made a good point about not caring what people wear in public. What kind of hypocrite am I to hate seeing people in their pjs when they aren’t nearly as fitting as yoga points showing all the lines and bunches of granny pannies 😉

    1. I can’t stand PJ’S in public. I think it’s the tackiest thing ever and I can’t believe it’s a fad. But there’s a difference between rolling your eyes over bad fashion and getting on a moral high horse. Or else I am a hypocrite right there with ya.

  4. Moms in yoga pants rule the world. Ha ha ha! I have a confession, though. I might be the only mom NOT wearing yoga pants. I have a flat ass and thus those yoga pants don’t look right on me in an age of Kim K. I’ll rock my boot cut sweats from Old Navy, though.

  5. I LOVE THIS POST! Confession, I am not a Mom. I am a wife and entrepreneur. I have to dress up quite often. When I come home, I get out of the constrictive garments and throw on one of my 7 pairs of Yoga pants. If I have to run to the grocery store or do errands, I do – in my yoga pants. It is attitude and not clothing wear that makes us rule the world. It shouldn’t matter how we dress as long as we are comfortable. However, I do this when my husband isn’t around. He is in the “no yoga pant” camp. He actually calls them “booty pants”. Rather than start a fight – I let him have this one. It is a choose your battle situation and I am not fighting over Lycra. However, I seriously want to read bits of this article to him and remind him, I am perfectly capable of getting cat-called in jeans. That happened too, right in front of him. Cue Nick Jonas song. So whatever I wear, I can’t help it. I will rule the world and you are so right about self restraint. It shouldn’t be on a female if a male can’t control his wayward eyes. As for the author, well you are spot on for her analysis of “booty pants” her pic says it all.

  6. You nailed it! First off love that you wore granny panties with your yoga pants.. I do that certain times of the month and it pisses my husband off..so I end up doing it more.. hee hee… I think what bugged me about the original post is that it made the news! It freaking made the news and her husband.. her husband just sat there like a weird-o. I hope he gets crap when he gets back to work from the guys.. Sorry, but something about her husband weirded me out. The other thing that bugged me was that .. she brought Jesus into it. Really Jesus?

  7. You wear underwear beneath your yoga pants? There you go getting all fancy on me. To me, yoga pants and sweat pants are pretty much underwear but warmer and more comfy. I didn’t read that article and think I’ll skip it as I’ve read enough judgey crap over the past 24 hours to last me a long long time. YAY for your awesome FTSF post!! Haha to going to Costco without the kids being a date! 🙂

  8. Seriously…a costco could draw so much attention.
    I have been to costco in my yoga pants, and never saw eyes turn…lol
    Or maybe I just didn’t give a damn.

    But loved your attitude girl 🙂

  9. My late husband and I used to go to the local hardware store for our dates. Oh the joy of taps! Gardening Equipment! Electrical appliances! Of course, I wore my tights. It got so bad that my husband had to hire a body guard to fend off my admirers.
    Ah bless her. I really can’t think about her any longer though as my load of yoga pants has finished washing and I’ve gotta go hang ’em up. Can’t have ’em shrinking!

  10. I haven’t read the article, but like Kristi, I’m not going to – because the thought that she’s arrogant enough to think other men would lust after her make me…ugh. And to pose with her snug husband – like she’s so hopelessly devoted to him and he’s all look at my trophy wife. Ewwww. Personally, and I know I’m in the minority – I hate yoga pants. I look like crap in them. I prefer baggy Hanes Sweatpants. But that’s just me and like you, I don’t care what other people wear, unless I gave birth to them. But they don’t listen to me anyway.

  11. I read the post earlier in the week about the whole not wearing leggings thing. I felt a number of things, first was an “are you freaking kidding me it’s 2015”, then a concern about the concept that men are unable to control their lustful thoughts (rather insulting to my husband and sons)and deep sadness that these ideas are the first layer of a victim blaming culture. All that said however I do feel really bad for this poor lady who has had the most horrible backlash from her post.
    For me there is a humongous difference between suggesting someone stays away from a particular garment because you think it looks pretty dreadful on everyone except supermodels and saying you are inciting lustful thought in another entirely separate sentient being and therefore must change your personal dress code. I don’t think we even have yoga pants in the Uk, I’m thinking they are just tight “trackie bottoms” dead comfy and just one step away from your PJ’s – is that right?

  12. Okay, first: Why haven’t I stopped in sooner? 2) you damn near made me spit out my coffee, and 3) Thank you for this. And this: “woot, I’ve still got it” <That made me giggle. A LOT. Heck, yea, girl–you do! Now, I don't know who this hussy is with her sanctimonious "thou shalt not wear yoga pants in public" nonsense, but of course imma have to read b/c you've piqued my curiosity. Who are these people who poo poo on yoga pants? And what would I wear if they were banned? I don't even have kids! All the food on my clothing is entirely my own. And no one wants to wash jeans multiple times in a year.

    Following you now everywhere. Because you are awesome 🙂 Happy weekend–and stopping in from SITS Sharefest!

  13. Yep, I have to agree with you that Moms can rule the world — or they raised, fed, and took care of those who do. It’s important to realize that we all need to be supportive of motherhood and what it takes to nurture a family. Thanks for pointing that out in the FTSF context!

  14. I love everything about this. a) My yoga pants aren’t going to make any self respecting man lustful. b) Other guys’ lust is their problem, not ours c) If you’re a mega hot Victoria’s Secret model looking lady, changing your pants isn’t going to help a damn thing.

  15. I feel like everyone needs to get off the moral high horse when it comes to clothing. It is okay not be a fan of a style or look but to turn it into slut shaming is over the line. I’m not a mom but I have fibromyalgia that can make me ridiculously touch sensitive so yoga pants are my best friend sometimes. If someone wants to judge me for that I’ll just be envious that they have the energy to do so and move on lol.

    Like other smart commentators have said women are not responsible for male lust.

  16. “Jesus loves me. He loves yoga pants, too. He didn’t tell me this or anything but Ima gonna go with my gut on that one”

    This literally made me laugh out loud. Freaking hilarious.

    Found you on the SITS Blogging Sharefest!

  17. Hella love this, Jill! Your parting shots are SPOT ON. I saw that piece made it around the world. Wtf?
    I’ll tell you something – I hate my jeans and anything with buttons and zippers lately. Hate them. Leggings and yoga pants it is these days. You wanna check out the frazzled butt of a 40-something mom? More power to you, dude! Enjoy. I’m comfy.
    We’ve had dates at Target – they’re fun! 🙂

  18. Oh I got a good one for you….. My oldest is the captain of the Distance track team, and XC team. During workouts the girls will run their 5 to 8 miles in their shorts and sports bra’s. The football cash ask the male XC and Track coach to tell them to put their shirts back on as it was a distraction to the boys.

    Our coach in his words were…. “No, tell your boys to figure it out. Be men and be gentlemen and deal with it. Your boys are shirtless and you don’t see me or my girls swooning or complaining it’s a distraction.”

    Each to his own and in the case of this lady, whatever you think sweetheart, and guess what SKINNY JEANS are just as bad if we are going this route!!! Just saying…… 😉

  19. I rarely wear my yoga pants in public, because I wear them to the gym and I don’t have enough pairs to throw on a clean pair later in the day. I’m a jeans gal, but I couldn’t care less what other women want to wear. Live and let live. And if you want to live comfortably in an elastic waist, go for it!

  20. I wear my yoga pants around the house but I don’t wear them out because of my own self-consciousness. However, if I did wear them out of the house I can not be held accountable for other men looking at me… come on!

    I love that you mentioned you wore granny panties with your yoga pants. Oh my goodness, did that ever make me laugh because I’m far from being a thong girl. LOL

    Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.

  21. Thank you so much for attending week 20 of #PureBlogLove and linking your fantastic blog post, I can’t wait to see what you have in store for our next party, Thursday 8 PM EST- Sundays at midnight. Your post has been added to the #PureBlogLove Pinterest board for all to see 🙂 Have a great day!