Random Parenting Fails, 2nd Edition

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No one sets out to be a sucky mom or dad but sometimes, it happens.  Recording and sharing parenting fails serves a couple of different purposes, besides giving me something to write about on my blog.

If you missed my first Random Parenting Fails post, you can read it here.

Sharing our parenting fails lets other people know that they’re not the only ones out there making mistakes.  Sometimes I feel like I’m the only parent on the planet getting it all wrong but I know I’m not the only mom on the block who flounders sometimes.  I know I’m not the only one who has frequent “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing” moments.

Sharing my “not so award winning” parenting moments lets you know you’re not alone. Maybe most of the world is blowing up Facebook with “we’re happy and perfect in our unsticky, color-coordinated life” but take comfort in the fact that there are people like me who will tell it like it is.

Onward to the parenting fails, people.

Fail One:

We left a razor sitting on the side of the tub and my four-year-old cut his lip trying to “shave like daddy.”

There’s always a twinge of parental guilt when your child harms himself (or breaks something) with an object they shouldn’t have been able to get their hands on in the first place.  In all seriousness, there’s a reason we lock up household chemicals and sharp stuff. There is always the tendency to blame or judge when the kid gets in to something (or worse) because an adult was careless.

I felt horrible when Kyle cut his mouth, but let’s be real: once I saw it was only a little nick, I was more concerned with the fact that our family portraits scheduled for the next day would show one of our kids with a scab on his lip.

Fail Two:

I was hiding in the bathroom eating the last Klondike bar. When my kid (not the one with the cut on his lip, the other one) busted me and demanded I share, I told him it was spicy ice cream and that it would burn his mouth. I don’t really have an excuse for this one, people. I know my days of being able to pull off a lame explanation like that are numbered. But I selfishly wanted that ice cream all to myself. I wanted to have a treat without someone climbing all over me whining for a bite (which would turn in to two bites and so forth.) This was why I was snacking in the bathroom in the first place.

Maybe you’re reading this and nodding your head. Maybe you’re thinking “hey, me too!”  That’s kind of what I’m going for, although maybe you’re putting on your Sherlock Google hat and trying to figure out my zip code so you can contact the parenting police, because I know parents love to judge other parents.

Sometimes, moms screw up. Sometimes we learn from it and sometimes, we’re just able to laugh and not take ourselves too seriously. Sometimes we’re just happy to plop on the couch, adult beverage of choice in hand and thank God (the universe, karma, whatever your thing is) that our small humans are tucked in safe and sound and you’ve survived another day.

Two more random parenting fails|Ripped Jeans and Bifocals
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50 Comments

  1. HA! You are so so right that we are all in the same boat with this motherhood gig, and it surely is a comfort to share in our woes and mistakes together!!! Thanking GOD that your four year old wasn’t hurt! And oh, do I have some doozer stories as well!!

    I tell my kids all the time that when they are 47, they too can eat anything they want. But until then? They will watch me devour as much crap as I want. 🙂

  2. The other day I was eating bread with chocolate peanut butter on it. My 10-month-old wants to eat EVERYTHING, especially if she sees me eating. So I hid it behind the pillow while she played and would sneak bites when she wasn’t looking so I wouldn’t have to share. Solidarity, mama!

  3. I am friggin’dying over here! I have tears rolling down my face and stomach cramps from laughing about the spicy ice cream in the bathroom! That, my friend, is not a fail. That is a total parenting win!

  4. Spicy ice cream for the win, that’s EPI!!!!!! Don’t feel bad about the razor thing. Kamden (nine months) and I were playing on our king-size bed (we have about 3209820934 pillows in our master bedroom) and he eventually fell asleep. I left him there, started a load of laundry, ate some lunch, and suddenly I heard him crying. He had rolled off the side and was on the floor. He was fine, but it scared both of us. The next day, Husband accidently elbowed him in the gut while they were on the floor playing and building block towers. Kamden’s a tough kid. I’m sure the shenanigans of raising a boy are just getting started. HA!!!!!

  5. Sometimes you just need to hide in the bathroom and enjoy the last treat:) love this!
    Nothing drives me more insane then moms who think they are perfect and have it all together. I may put on a good front, but I am FAR from a perfect mom. And that’s okay:)

  6. It is hard not to feel guilty about our little mistakes, but what matters in the end is that our children are happy. That’s what I always use as a yardstick of good parenting.

  7. I love this! Just last week my daughter and I were grocery shopping and she picked out some bananas. She even commented that they were perfect for eating. However, two days later she went to have one and they were gone. My husband and I had eaten all of them, not thinking to save any for her. Oops… she was right; they were perfect!

  8. I love this! Just last week my daughter and I were grocery shopping and she picked out some bananas. She even commented that they were perfect for eating. However, two days later she went to have one and they were gone. My husband and I had eaten all of them, not thinking to save any for her. Oops… she was right; they were perfect!

  9. Boy, do I hear ya. You mentioned, “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing” moments. I think I have those DAYS or MONTHS even. This parenting gig is tough stuff. But, you’re right: at the end of the day if they’re tucked in safe. If they’re healthy and if we’re loving them to pieces (like I know we all do), we’re doing pretty good. 😉

  10. My kids love spicy things so that won’t work for me lol I’m constantly trying to hide and eat stuff just so I don’t have to deal with the begging stares.

  11. I really like your blog. I recall reading more than one piece from it. #1 I relate to because I was the kid that did that!! And #2, I’ve scarfed down yummy things away from my kids by either hiding from them or quickly shoving say, a chocolate bar, in my mouth, or I’ve told them something was awful when it really wasn’t (my husband does the last thing all the time, but we’ve caught on to his pattern). Don’t feel bad — I think I, too, have scores of Mommy Fails to draw upon myself, and just think of all the blog posts you could write (at least that’s what I keep telling myself — crazy, huh?).

    1. Oh yeah, mama. We can totally take away their birthdays. I have used that one, too, when I want to bring out the big guns. Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Great post. We tend to make human mistakes and I just hope mine are never really big ones. I wouldn’t fret over the razor and I wouldn’t call the spicy ice cream a fail. As a parent you give so much of yourself sometimes you need something just for you.

  13. Haydan and I share a bathroom because it is the bigger of the two in our home. She took my razor and shaved both of her legs. I didn’t even notice until applying lotion one night to her spiky legs when the hair had grown back in. You are definitely not alone! lol.

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