Two random parenting fails

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I think my husband and I are good parents most of them time, great parents some of the time.  But other times, we just plain suck. Here are two examples of our less than shining moments in parenthood:

1. A conversation I heard between my husband and my youngest son, pretty much verbatim –

Kid: Daddy, I’d like milk, please.

Sweet boy had fetched his own cup and was smiling angelically. I know.  Angelic smiles usually mean there's something somewhere in my house that is broken or peed on that I have yet to discover, or, there is another child in my house bound and gagged in the linen closet.   

HubsHow ‘bout some grape soda instead?

MeWTF?  Seriously, WTF?

2. I frequently pit my kids against each other make them do what I want them to do.  Don’t tell me you don’t do the same thing.  Anyone with more than one kid knows that if one little snowflake has something, the other kid wants it in the very. worst. way.  It does not matter if it’s the last cookie or a suppository.  If someone is getting singled out for glycerin in their hiney, well then it must be some good stuff and the other kid is clearly missing out.

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The newest, most coveted item at our house is the yellow gummy vitamin.  Most of the vitamins in our large jar of no-name supplements for kiddies are a muddy purplish color, but there are a handful of orangey yellow ones in the mix.  My kids view these as coveted manna straight from heaven.  It’s strictly first come first serve with the yellow vitamin, which normally involves someone starting their day off with tears.  Not everyone is a winner, my little cupcake.

On one particular day last week, I needed my kids to m-o-v-e.  You know how all kids dawdle, have to have a 10 minute poop or tell you it's “too hard” to put their own shoes on when you are late getting out the door?  One of my kids was stalling out of pure contrariness.  I sang out “okayyy, your brother is going to get the last yellow vitamin.

I didn’t know my kids could move that fast.  Day-um.

Not everyone is a winner all the time…including parents. Do you have a parenting moment you're not proud of?

If you'd like to read more, here are some more funny parenting fails.

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  1. Haha! In our house everyone wants the red gummy vitamin and they all seem to be orange and yello. I didn’t know that yellow was such a coveted color. Next time they fight I will tell them ‘stop fighting! the yellow ones are good to. there are kids all over the world fighting over yellow ones right now!’.

    1. We should get together, pool our vitamins and make a bottle that would make everyone happy. I’m sure they’d quickly find something else to fight over, hmm?

  2. I love this and have to admit, I, too pit my kids against each other. For example, both of my boys are at that age where they wear the same socks and the same kinds of compression shorts. My husband and I can’t tell the difference between their socks and a few of their shorts. However, we have managed to label their compression shorts with their initials. They hate sorting or rifling through their clothes. So…. the best way to get them to do it is to tell them that the other one will get all the good socks. It works!

  3. Our kids would fight over the stupidest things when they were small, so with only have two kids we create the odd/even day strategy to kills all arguments. My daughter was even days and my son was odd days. On odd days, my son took a bath first, and won any arguments, etc… As they have grown, this has been the best idea I ever had as a parent and stop a lot of “fails”…LOL! Now the day dictates who sits up front in the car, who unloads the dishwasher, and just about anything that comes up. But, you know what every once and a while it is fun to pin them against each other and watch the competition erupt 🙂

    1. Chrissie, you are my kind of girl. First, BRILLIANT idea about switching days and I am so stealing it. Second, I love the idea of watching them bicker as a form of entertainment! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  4. Hahahaha, kids are so stupid sometimes. Grape soda over milk? Even I know which choice is correct in a situation like that where the wife is RIGHT THERE! Lol. Our kids like those gummy vitamins too, but I don’t think there’s a favorite color yet. Something to look forward to I guess.

  5. Ha – grape soda – love that! I wrote about a parenting fail today too…when I didn’t bring junk food to camp visiting day. Who knew? Apparently, not me. UGH.

  6. Ha! This is so true, but so funny!

    Thank you for stopping by the Thoughtful Spot Weekly Blog Hop this week. We hope to see you drop by our neck of the woods next week!

  7. Ah, this takes me back, says the smug mum who’s little angels are now not so little – Sorry!
    It will all pass, eventually, and then they will bring it all up as funny stories at family get togethers when lots of relatives and guests are around to hear what an awful mum you were!

  8. Wow the vitamin company is missing something, they should put out this idea, lol made me laugh. You have a great sense of humor. Thanks for sharing as a part of Oh My Heartsie Girl #WW this week.
    Hope to see you again soon.

  9. I have to sneak my oldest son his Zyrtec because the younger one will insist on a pill too and he really doesn’t need it! Nothing makes me feel more like a drug dealer than whispering, “Come here quick and take this before your brother finds out!”

  10. Hahah grape soda, I can see my husband doing exactly that.
    When my toddler is taking her sweet time getting to the table (or doing anything really) I sometimes tell her I’m going to give whatever it is to her baby brother… Works almost every time. Except for the vegetables and then she says “okay, I’ll share” haha