Coming to terms with my muffin top
I hate my muffin top. Don’t give me some sappy line about the top being the best part of the muffin. I hate that little roll that reminds me that I’m probably being stubborn and I might need to go a size up in my jeans…that little extra piece of flesh that is evidence that I like mini snickers bars. A lot.
I’ve been working hard on my body and my mind this year. Yes, I know “this year” means all of 21 days but I’m really trying to be my best me, to be intentional about the things I do and say and to accept myself and to be kind to myself. To move more and to binge eat mini snickers bars less. Did I mention I like those a lot?
I’ve done great with my activity level this week. I went for a hard run last night and when I got home, I asked myself “why don’t I do this more often?” I didn’t have a good answer for that, so I scheduled a run date with a friend for tomorrow morning…a friend that won’t bail out on me or smell my breath for evidence of snickers minis. I’ve done two ass-kicking strength workouts that have used muscles I didn’t know I had. I’ll spare you the TMI but you know a workout was good when your quads scream at you when you sit down to pee. And when you get up again.
I’ve also been making a little bit of an effort to get my family moving. My husband is all too happy to veg out in front of the television set but he’s also usually amenable to busting out the double jogger or going for a walk while our two little dudes go for a bike ride. They’ve just gotten the hang of their little bikes with training wheels…sort of.
We decided to change it up over the weekend and go hiking. We went up to Enchanted Rock State Natural Area near Fredericksburg, Texas. If you’re ever near San Antonio or Austin and you’re looking for the best of Texas scenery and something active to do, you may want to check this out.
Anyhoo…I was taking a picture of my boys posing on one of the rock formations about halfway up when a nice young woman stopped me and asked if I wanted her to take a picture of my entire family. I handed her my camera, sat down on the rock and said cheeseburger…actually, I might have said “mini snickers.” I might have a problem, here.
My mind immediately went to my muffin top and my hands flew to my midsection. I’d been working up a sweat hiking and I’d taken off my jacket. Like many of the other hikers, I was wearing fitness clothes (also sometimes known as a mom uniform – tights and a workout shirt.)
I know I don’t have the perfect body for spandex tights. Not many people do and I was doing a pretty good job of enjoying the sunshine and the time with my family and focusing on what my body was capable of more than how I looked. But now there was going to be photographic evidence. My muffin top was going to be captured on film.
That’s okay, I thought to myself as I thanked the nice young woman and took my camera back. No one will have to see these but me.
When I looked at the pictures later that night, my eye went immediately to my midsection. I pointed out my fat roll. I criticized myself my appearance out loud and I asked my husband if he thought I looked fat…which is a stupid thing to ask. I might not have the perfect body but my husband is still interested in seeing me naked on occasion, so there was only one right answer.
I asked myself this: Why shouldn’t people see this picture? Why shouldn’t my kids get to see and enjoy this little piece of a really good day that was captured on film?
This journey of mind and body that I’m on is hard. This is a good picture. The scenery is beautiful. My family is happy. I’m a 49-year-old woman who has a little fluff around my midsection, my dreaded muffin top.
[Tweet “I'm a 49-year-old woman who's carrying a little fluff around her midsection. So effing what?”]
I just need to get over myself, don’t I?
This was a good day. I had a good week. Yes, I have a muffin top. So effing what?
I’m healthy. I’m strong. I’m working on myself in more ways than one.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post where writers and bloggers gather to finish a sentence. Today’s sentence is “If I were a crayon….”
I’m not sure what color I would be if I were a crayon but I think I’d be one of those broken crayons without the paper. In making my path to mind and body wellness public, I’ve exposed my soft little underbelly, both literally and metaphorically.
If you want to check out Finish the Sentence Friday, go here.
Have a great weekend…and I’m really winging this whole fitness posting thing. It’s very outside the box for me. Do you have something that motivates or encourages you as far as fitness or body image goes? Is there something you find demotivating?
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What a wonderful family picture and yet I know the feeling of being a little too harsh of the way I might look in a pic nowadays myself. Mine is from Snickers though as much as probably from Hershey Kisses, which seem to be my downfall of choice this month! But still get it and yet think the pic of you and your family is beautiful and priceless still. Have a great weekend now 🙂
I think it’s amazing how active you have been! I feel better about myself and how I look when I make a point to exercise more regularly, even if my body doesn’t necessarily look any different. I am learning to embrace my love handles. I’m a healthy, active woman, and they are just part of who I am!
OOOH I really really like that you’d be a crayon without the paper and I so hear you with the muffin top and body acceptance. At my doc appointment this year, we were talking about exercise and all that and I mentioned that I knew I need to lose some weight and she said “you’re in the healthy and normal range for your age,” which reminded me that duh of course I’m not going to look 25. Those years are looooooong gone. And yay for hiking and hard runs!! Thanks for linking up, friend!
Sigh… it gets exhausting, picking ourselves apart. I can look at any picture of myself and see the flaws and things that make me cringe. My brain says it’s silly, that it’s not important, but some other part of me (the asshole part) drowns it out with the criticism. The funny thing is, I look back on pictures from 2 years ago and I don’t hate them. But at the time? I cringed. The picture of you with your family is beautiful. What I see are the smiles on all of your faces.
When I look at that picture I see a happy family! Being healthy of mind, body and spirit is what’s most important. It’s so easy for us to find fault in ourselves. It’s harder to find the best of ourselves. Keep smiling! And here’s to muffins! And snickers!
I teeter totter with this issue. Some days, I have that “Screw it!” attitude. I don’t care about my muffin top or what size pants I have to wear. Other days, I HATE it and desperately wish I was skinny. Sigh. I think it’s great that you are being active and focusing on health rather than weight – that’s what I’ve been trying to do as well!
I hate my muffin top, soooooooooooooooo much. It actually might be making me a little cuckoo. I’ve been wearing spanx with my jeans, so I don’t have to feel the overlap. But it is winter, and in the summer it’ll be hot. I’m proud of you for posting the picture – you look so happy with your family. Keep up the fitness posts, you really are inspiring me. I may even get up and go for a run. For real.
That is a fantastic picture and I can honestly say I wouldnt have even noticed your midsection if you didnt mention it. I think we are all so much harder on ourselves than how we are really perceived. I am glad you posted the pic.. looks like a awesome day!
I think you’ve got the right attitude – when your children look back in years to come, they will see that you and their dad took them out for a wonderful day, that there was sunshine, that you all smiled. They’ll remember all the wonderful things you did with them and what fun it was growing up with you as their mom.
You’ve done some GREAT work on yourself this week (physically) and I know the frustration when great work doesn’t = immediate results. Apparently it takes four weeks for YOU to notice a difference, eight weeks for those close to you to notice, and 12 weeks for the world at large. I’m on week one *sigh*
Good for you for having a matter-of-fact approach to it – something I could do with learning!
I’m so glad you posted that photo, Jill – so effing what, indeed! I zoom right to my own midsection in photos, but I never notice other women’s. I notice the smiles.
A crayon with the paper peeled off means that it’s a favorite. Only the favorites are colored with enough to have to unpeel the wrapper. 🙂
I really, really hate my muffin top! So glad you posted this. I feel like that’s the one spot that everyone zooms in on. I realize that is my trouble spot, whatever I eat goes there. To counter this, I emphasize other areas of my body that are beautiful.
Such a lovely photo – you all look so very happy. I’m glad you shared it. Good on you.
My fitness routine as presented is spurred on by the fitbit group my niece asked me to join. We all try and do at least 10,000 steps a day and it is so motivating to see that someone has managed to do 12,000. If she can do 12,000, so can I! Only been doing it for three weeks so far however my dog is thrilled that we are walking for much longer these days.
I am in love with this post and that’s not an exaggeration. It was beautifully written and I love every single point you made. We all have those parts of our bodies we don’t like, but we’re beautiful as a whole. Your picture was totally awesome and I’m glad you threw it in! You all look so happy.
Oh, and the part about the “mom uniform”. It’s totally true!
Thanks so much for sharing this post. It’s fantastic and made me realize that I may not be where I want to be with my body, but it doesn’t matter whatsoever.
What’s been motivating me to workout and eat better these last few weeks is that my jeans stopped fitting and ain’t nobody got time to go jean shopping with a toddler. It’s been a few weeks since I started making changes and I fit back into my jeans again, so thank god for that.
I relate to this very much, thank you for sharing!! As a result of a medical ‘thing’ (cancer) I currently cannot do the physical activities that I used to and love very much and I have gained weight. So, I’m learning to one: be really mindful of my words to and about myself (especially because I believe my body is a sacred container) and two: be loving and kind when I look at myself in the mirror or in photos. For a few months, I didn’t even want to take photos, but that confused my kids and also my peers (I used to be in selfie forums) so opening to that again feels pretty big to me.
I’m glad you shared this part of your journey because I don’t feel so ‘alone’ in mine. When I look at your photo I see a happy family experience in the beauty of Mother Nature. I know that doesn’t change what you see, but maybe it offers you a different perspective (like many who have commented before me!).
I love your crayon choice – the not-quite-perfect one, the exposed one. I’m working on a lot of that right now myself.
I’ve realized that many of our photos are missing me. Partly because I am often the photo-taker. My husband always thinks to photograph nature, but not usually to photograph people. It’s just where his head goes. I often think of capturing the people, so I whip out the camera. So that’s part of why I’m missing. But the other part? Absolutely because I don’t want to be pictured as looking tired/fat/old/whatever. But that’s wrong. Because ultimately, what our Daughter will remember is not that. I want her to remember that I lived my life and spent time with her, not that I hid from the camera worried about how I’d look.
Besides, my Grandmother always told me that truly cute people are not terribly photogenic. I’m pretty sure it was to make me feel better about a bad school photo, but I’ll go with it! 😀
Glad you can accept yourself. Sounds like it was a lovely day out with your family.
This could be my favorite post of yours yet, and there’s ALOT to choose from. I’m so glad you shared that picture, you look happy. And that’s most important. I’m also really excited for you to start your fitness journey. It’s hard…hard as shit, but so worth it. That midsection? We ALL have it? Especially when the hot flashes start. You bust your ass but save some mini-snickers for your cheat day, you’ve EARNED them! Good luck, and you are inspiring me to share more REAL pics too!
thank you!
I have the dreaded muffin top too. I can kind of cover that up for the most part. The thing I dislike is the “resting bitch face” I have when I don’t walk around with my eyebrows raised. I can live with the muffin top. But the “resting bitch face” I am really having a hard time coping with. If you don’t know what that is, its when you look mad when you are not. My eyelids have wrinkled excessively in the last year. The rest of my face has not aged the way my eyelids have. It really sucks.