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Why Our Kids Don’t Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day

March 2, 2019 by Jill 54 Comments

My kid came home from school and asked me if “The Leprechaun” was going to come to our house and bring him chocolate coins. Really? That’s a thing now? Why our kids don’t celebrate Saint Patricks’s Day

I asked the Oracle – okay, I killed exactly seven hours on Pinterest – and yes, it appears The Leprechaun coming to your house is indeed “a thing.” Here are some suggested “fun activities” you can plan for your small humans to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day…and how this relates to a priest converting pagans to Christianity in Ireland is completely beyond me.

Table of Contents

  • Why my kids don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day
    • 1. Use a few drops of green food coloring to color the toilet water
    • 2. Let the kids think “leprechauns were there” by turning everything upside down in their rooms and in the house.  Put things in odd places. Upside down turn around pictures, maybe even rearrange the furniture a little bit
    • 3. Toss green sprinkles all over the breakfast table, on their food and maybe some other fun places around the house
    • 4. Have the kids create a Leprechaun Trap. We all know those little leprechauns can create a lot of mischief so maybe it’s best to set a few traps and see if they can catch one.  Let the kids get creative making their trap using any kind of materials you may have around the house.  Add gold glitter to attract the Leprechauns – they love shiny stuff.  
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Why my kids don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day

Why our kids don’t celebrate Saint Patricks Day

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1. Use a few drops of green food coloring to color the toilet water

One Pinterest freak quoted this as a “fun surprise” for kids to find in the bathroom on St. Paddy’s Day morning.  Fake green pee (AKA something else I can add to my list of stuff to clean up) doesn’t really meet my “fun surprise” threshold.  And hello?  I live in a house with three males…only one of them hits the toilet with any regularity.  Cleaning up extra pee?  I don’t think that fits into my idea of celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day.

2. Let the kids think “leprechauns were there” by turning everything upside down in their rooms and in the house.  Put things in odd places. Upside down turn around pictures, maybe even rearrange the furniture a little bit

Mmm hmm. That sounds dreamy.  Not.

My downtime after me kids go to bed is sacred. The last thing I want to do is interrupt wine-thirty to tiptoe around my house moving furniture in such a way as not to wake my slumbering angels. Would my kids laugh and chortle over some overturned chairs and some upside down pictures?  Maybe they would but I’m getting Poltergeist flashback heebie jeebies just thinking about all that.  And besides…who’s gonna clean that crap up?  A tiny little leprechaun cleaning crew?  I think not.

3. Toss green sprinkles all over the breakfast table, on their food and maybe some other fun places around the house

Whoever dreamed up this one has lost her ever-loving mind. First of all the most important meal of the day does not include sprinkles, at least not at my house.  And second, what exactly, is defined as “other fun places around the house?”  Between the couch cushions?  Under the bathroom sink?  Besides the “ew, ants” factor, who the heck wants to be finding little green sprinkles on Labor Day?  Not this mom.

4. Have the kids create a Leprechaun Trap. We all know those little leprechauns can create a lot of mischief so maybe it’s best to set a few traps and see if they can catch one.  Let the kids get creative making their trap using any kind of materials you may have around the house.  Add gold glitter to attract the Leprechauns – they love shiny stuff.  

I’m a firm believer that glitter is dust of Satan, so I’m automatically suspicious of anyone who thinks pairing glitter and little kids is a good idea. And setting a trap for a little Irish dude who might be stealthily sneaking through the house searching for the end of the rainbow (or maybe just some magically delicious cereal) just seems a little creeptastic to me.

Seriously, people.  I don’t have room in my life for the leprechaun.  We have Santa.  We have the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and if we didn’t live in Texas, my kids would probably believe in Jack Frost.  We even do the whole elf on the shelf thing.  Do I really need to add another mythical creature to the lineup?

Between Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, I’m going to do enough backpedaling when my kids get older.  If I say yes to the Leprechaun and letting my kids celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day in our home, what next?  Is the ghost of George Washington going to come visit our house on President’s Day and leave us little tiny cherry trees?  Stop the madness right now!

I have no beef against celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m down with green construction paper shamrocks, kissing people because they’re Irish (hey, I’m a hugger) and green beer (and pretty much any celebratory stuff that happens in a bar, lets be real.)  I’m gonna stop the madness right now and say “Move on, leprechaun.  I hope you find something magically delicious at the end of the rainbow, but it’s not at our house, so take your magical little butt on out of here.” 

Why my kids don't celebrate St Patrick's Day|Ripped Jeans and Bifocals

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54 Comments

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Comments

  1. Ashley says

    March 12, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Hahahahahahaha!! You had me laughing pretty hard on this one, Robbins.

    Reply
  2. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me says

    March 12, 2015 at 11:48 pm

    Yeah, there will be no leprechaun visits here. Like you said, we have enough going on without adding yet another mythical irritation, er, creature to the mix. I can handle Santa and the Bunny. The Tooth Fairy is pretty innocuous. The Elf on My Nerves was a bit much. But this? Please, do NOT let my child come home asking about this. Perhaps we can convince her that it’s limited to school buildings. Yeah, that’s it!
    Happy Hugging to you!

    Reply
    • Jill says

      March 17, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      Happy Hugging!

      Reply
  3. Janine Huldie says

    March 13, 2015 at 6:42 am

    As much as I love St. Patrick’s Day (and I do), you will not be finding me doing any of the above, because like you I love my quiet after my kids go to bed a bit too much, too! 😉

    Reply
  4. Allie says

    March 13, 2015 at 7:48 am

    I am with you on all of this. The Leprechaun “thing” started when my third child was in preschool (Catholic preschool). The Leprechaun messed up the classroom. Then parents started doing it. I didn’t do it, because I’m Irish and he never came to my house when I was growing up. Well, of course my kids then felt unloved and not Irish. Ugh. This one really irritates me. I’m going to stop, and spare you:). Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

    Reply
    • Jill says

      March 17, 2015 at 6:55 pm

      Happy St. Paddy’s day to you!!!

      Reply
  5. Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

    March 13, 2015 at 8:09 am

    Glitter is the dust of Satan – bwa ha ha! One. Time. I tried that sneaky Leprechaun stuff. I turned our chairs over at the dining room table and filled the bathtub with green water. When we arrived home from daycare, my kids were mad and frightened! Ha! That backfired. That was the last time the Leprechaun visited us (THANKFULLY).

    Reply
  6. Patti says

    March 13, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Leprechaun visits? Hell, I’ve got Irish blood and not once has he showed up at my house and good thing that as this is Texas, a stand-your-ground state. Hate to think…

    Reply
  7. Shelley Oz says

    March 13, 2015 at 11:05 am

    “That bitch has lost her mind” I’m dying over here.

    Reply
  8. Kenya G. Johnson says

    March 13, 2015 at 11:34 am

    Ant factor or no ant factor, you know you’d find green sprinkles long after your kids have moved out. LOL! Loved this post and sharing! And I did not know this was a thing until today.

    Reply
  9. Christina says

    March 13, 2015 at 11:59 am

    So my husband says he thinks it sounds fun. I’m with you – it would be a lot to do and we’d be the ones cleaning it up. Our son is 21 now so we’re really out of the loop on all this new crafty stuff going on. If a leprechaun visits he needs to leave some gold behind.

    Reply
  10. Bonita says

    March 13, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    I love it! I didn’t even know this was real. I had never heard of it and now Pinterest making people have WAY too much time on their hands.

    Reply
  11. Amanda Bernard says

    March 13, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    When it comes to St. Patrick’s Day, or any other holiday, we keep it simple by not celebrating. We save SO much money! I am being sarcastic, the real reason is a tad more complex, but the money thing is a nice bonus. And no, my kids don’t miss out 🙂

    Reply
  12. Kristi Campbell says

    March 13, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    LOL Jill. Hilarious and awesome!! So… we’re supposed to make a leprechaun trap for my son’s homework, due on Tuesday. I tried to pawn the project off on my husband since I made that awesome 100 day mummy shirt and all but um he’s not buying it. And now Tucker’s like all into the idea. I am glad he’s not old enough to get on Pinterest because um yeah – those bitches are crazy! Move the furniture around? Hang a picture upside down? Like I’m going to mount picture hanging stuff on the wrong end of it to pretend a creepy little green guy did it? No. Thanks for linking up – love it!

    Reply
  13. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    March 13, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    “Glitter is the dust of Satan.” OMG!!! I love this so much I cannot even fully explain it! 🙂 Perfect and I so, so agree with you!

    Reply
  14. Vodka Rater says

    March 13, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Such a good article! THE GIFS ARE AWESOME!!! Love the cat one. Keep up the hard work Jill

    Reply
  15. Lauren says

    March 13, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    I am dying laughing right now. I love glitter.. but not in crafts!!

    Reply
  16. Kelly L McKenzie says

    March 13, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    Welcome Mr. Leprechaun into our house to rearrange the furniture, eat the dog food and sprinkle glitter hither and yon? No thanks. Not happening. Not sure if I’ve shared this little tidbit here before so I’ll soldier on with it. Years ago in the space of a week two neighborhood moms called me to ask if I would do daycare for their monsters, I mean kids. Good lord no. Add more kidlets to the mix? Were they joking? At the best of times I don’t do glitter, glue, homemade playdough – all of the delightful craftie gems that Perfect Day Care Moms do. While I was flattered that they thought I actually shone at that sort of horror I enlighted them to the truth. Still shuddering about the concept. And IMAGINE theme days? Oh the expectations of the parents and their children as St. Val’s, St. Pat’s, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Whatever Day approached. Thank you. But no.

    Reply
  17. Marty Sabolo says

    March 13, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    You sound like the type of Mom I can appreciate. No human alive should be allowed to use glitter. But certainly not a child.

    Reply
  18. Echo says

    March 13, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    I’ll be honest, my kids try to trap that little fucker, but he never makes a mess. HELL NO!

    Reply
  19. Dana says

    March 15, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    I did not know a thing about this leprechaun trap until I read the FTSF posts this week. Who makes this stuff up? And WHY?? Parenting is hard enough. No thanks – the only leprechaun in my house is the one on the Lucky Charms box.

    Reply
  20. Anna Fitfunner says

    March 16, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Yeah, I admit that we dodged the whole super-St. Patrick’s Day kids celebration stuff. Green or gold glitter = nope. Leprechaun traps = nope. I’m with you: green construction paper shamrocks, some fun songs. Some good holiday foods. Aaaaaand, we’re done. Time for the next holiday!

    Reply
  21. Kelly says

    March 16, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    moms don’t need more crap to clean up, that is for sure!

    Reply
  22. The Imp says

    March 16, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    Seriously, wtf is it with the Pinterest Psychosis shit? I looked for ideas for a NYE party thing for the Minons…and ended up with an inferiority complex that had me cramming cheesecake in my head as fast as I could.

    Reply
  23. RachRiot says

    March 16, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    OH HELL NAH! Aren’t we tortured enough with that red felted bastard, Elf On The Shelf and now we have this? Not. Happening.

    Reply
  24. Foxy Wine Pocket says

    March 16, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA! I love it. I admit to using the green food coloring in the toilet, but I really like screaming, “THE LEPRECHAUN PEED IN THE BATHROOM!” at the top of my lungs. That never gets old.

    Reply
  25. aley says

    March 18, 2015 at 5:45 am

    So you do everything else but a leprechaun freaks you out?

    Instead of a trap and stuff why not a little leprechaun house and you leave little treat or tiny food?

    It’s not nice to trap things for money lol

    Reply
  26. Theresa says

    February 24, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    That was funny! My fear with the green toilet water would be our kids sticking their hands in it! Yikes. I am into the green decor for the kids but I don’t see leprechauns actually visiting us either.

    Reply
    • Jill says

      February 24, 2016 at 2:01 pm

      Yep, I’m with ya. Green decor…no problem. Sprinkles everywhere and coloring toilet water? NAH.

      Reply
  27. Christine - The Choosy Mommy says

    February 24, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    Hahaha ohhhh damn it! I also had no clue about this but you can be sure I won’t be doing any of it either. My kids can wear a green shirt and off they go!

    Reply
  28. Katie Chiavarone says

    February 24, 2016 at 6:28 pm

    While I’m definitely a St. Patrick’s Day mom-you had me cracking up- and yes, this bitch IS crazy 😉

    Reply
  29. Monica Miller says

    February 25, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Omgness this is hilarious! i’ve never heard of the leprechaun as being in cahoots with Santa and the Easter Bunny and I’m a teacher!

    Reply
  30. Tikeetha says

    February 25, 2016 at 10:42 am

    LOL. I’m with you. No other mystical creatures in my house. Sending you wishes from #throwbackthursday

    Reply
  31. Margaretha (Equine Guided MD) says

    February 25, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    Thank goodness we are French! No chance of leprechauns messing up our house at all. Green glitter? No, definitely not.

    Reply
  32. Shannon says

    February 25, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Hilarious laughed out loud really. Still gonna sprinkle some satan dust but now I will chuckle as I do it.

    Reply
  33. Shann Eva says

    February 25, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    This is hilarious!!! I love it! I confess, I did put a little green food coloring in my boys’ pancake syrup and milk in the morning on St. Patty’s Day, but it was just me that did it. Not a Leprachaun. I’m not starting that either.

    Reply
  34. Stephanie says

    February 26, 2016 at 9:00 am

    These ideas are crazy. We just enjoy more green on that day and my 3 year old is just as happy.

    Reply
  35. Diana says

    February 26, 2016 at 10:00 am

    hahaha!

    I kind-of love St. Patrick’s Day, but this is all just *too much*!

    Reply
  36. Roshni says

    February 26, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    LOL!! Seriously, I can’t imagine people actually doing those things willingly! We don’t celebrate St Patrick’s Day either – I mean, for us, it makes even less sense to do so!

    Reply
  37. Denise says

    February 26, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    LOL! I’ll let Kindergarten and preschool teachers do that stuff. Not me Ieven when I taught first grade…hell, no). We celebrate by wearing green and eating Irish stew. That’s good enough for me.

    Reply
  38. Lizl Bennefeld says

    February 27, 2016 at 12:42 am

    Very much enjoyed that! We don’t need another holiday for the Little People. Here, I believe, we have a parade, and I’m sure that someone, somewhere is selling green beer. ::sigh::

    Thanks!

    Reply
  39. Tamara says

    February 28, 2016 at 11:53 pm

    Between this, and the elf…. goodness, forget it people!

    Reply
  40. Tara Glenn says

    March 6, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    We will be celebrating with a traditional Irish dinner! Their school has a naughty leprechaun though and that made me laugh.

    Reply
  41. Kristen says

    March 7, 2016 at 6:37 am

    This post is exactly what I LOVE you! Hell no to the leprechauns. Who has time??!!

    Reply
  42. Anna Palmer says

    March 7, 2016 at 11:13 am

    Not to be too gross…but we don’t really need any extra effort to make the toilet green. OK that was too gross. This was really funny!

    Reply
  43. leonie says

    March 9, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    Its kinda like what does Santa ave to do with Christmas
    and What does a rabbit have to do with easter
    nothing…. but we do it :0)

    Reply
  44. Quirky Chrissy says

    March 13, 2016 at 10:30 am

    What the everliving f*ck?

    The most outlandish thing we ever did was walk around my aunt’s condo complex looking for the pot of gold. No one ever Elf on a Shelfed that mofo.

    And based on my first generation 100% Irish future husband’s hatred of leprechaun lore (It’s apparently a racially negative connotation), we won’t be celebrating leprechauns with our children, ever.

    Reply
  45. Jeanne says

    March 14, 2016 at 11:34 am

    I don’t know…green sprinkles on oatmeal might be fun…St. Patty’s Greetings from Mom…just not a leprechaun! 🙂

    Reply
  46. Joycee says

    March 14, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    So, our grandchildren now live with us, and I like celebrating the holidays in ways I know they never celebrated before, but green toilet bowl water? Eww! Our grandsons are 3and 4, nband they have no concept of what a leprechaun is except for the one on the cereal box. I will serve corned beef and cabbage. Green jello, and salad…and we will make “leprechaun bait,” candy covered pretzels! I’m Irish! And no,the leprechauns do not and never did bring gold coins to us!
    PS We got one of those elves…and they creep me out…but since their cousins had one, I got one.

    Reply
  47. Kris says

    March 15, 2016 at 11:11 pm

    Laughing out loud on this!!! When my 2 boys were small I had a leprechaun one of them made in school on the wall. I ‘hid’ something green for each boy and that was it (OK, I’d make Irish soda bread for dinner). This lasted not very long. Having kids 5 years apart meant one got more cute than the other. They did make traps in second grade..or was it first grade? In SCHOOL and not at home. Pinterest fail.

    Reply
  48. mary says

    March 19, 2016 at 1:00 am

    I almost didn’t read this thinking you had something against St. Patrick’s Day. Now I understand. WTF, I agree. I laugh so hard reading this.

    Reply
  49. LS says

    August 14, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Amen. We have enough cultural holidays to support in our house with an American-Jewish-Finnish-Chinese household (there are three dates for new year’s celebrations in there alone). Plus glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

    Reply
  50. Jay says

    June 2, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    You sound like a bundle of laughs.

    Reply
    • Jill says

      June 2, 2017 at 8:34 pm

      Thank you so much! I’m really fun at parties.

      Reply

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All About Jill

I'm a digital content creator and essayist who copes with parenting and most other situations with humor and snark. Just so you know, if this weren't the internet, I'd be smiling awkwardly and answering simple questions like "How are you today" with gems like "I like pockets."

I really do love pockets, though.

I spent 26 years in the USAF, which went by really, really fast. I'm very proud of my service but I'm loving my second act even more. Writing gives me the opportunity to flex my creative muscles and that's what makes me happy. Welcome.

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I saw a lot of posts about Martin Luther King yesterday when I was doing my scrolls through social media...on a day where I wasn't supposed to be ON social media, ahem. We hear and see a lot of Dr. King's words and quotes one day a year. So, instead of apologizing for posting this "a day late" I'll share that I'm challenging myself to remember some of these important words more than one day a year.

Our kids are watching us right now. I mean...they're always watching us but I think what they see in these times is more important than ever. Nuturing our kids' intelligence and character is more important than ever. My kids are 10 now - this picture is about four years old - and they are absorbing EVERYTHING we say, how we say it and even what we don't say. 

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This probably seems like a little thing but this is huge for me. The mental benefits of not having to set my alarm on a schoolday is truly my love language. I would rather have sleep than flowers or presents. 

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