Why Our Kids Don’t Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day
My kid came home from school and asked me if “The Leprechaun” was going to come to our house and bring him chocolate coins. Really? That’s a thing now? Why our kids don’t celebrate Saint Patricks’s Day
I asked the Oracle – okay, I killed exactly seven hours on Pinterest – and yes, it appears The Leprechaun coming to your house is indeed a thing now. Here are some suggested “fun activities” you can plan for your small humans to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day…and how this relates to a priest converting pagans to Christianity in Ireland is completely beyond me but we’ll go with it.
Why my kids don’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day
Editor’s note: This is one of my more popular, seasonal posts and was originally published in 2015. These words are supposed to make you laugh so if you’re having some other reaction, you’re taking it too seriously.
1. Use a few drops of green food coloring to color the toilet water
One Pinterest freak quoted this as a “fun surprise” for kids to find in the bathroom on St. Paddy’s Day morning. Fake green pee (AKA something else I can add to my list of stuff to clean up) doesn’t really meet my “fun surprise” threshold. And hello? I live in a house with three males…only one of them hits the toilet with any regularity. Cleaning up extra pee? I don’t think that fits into my idea of celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day.
2. Let the kids think “leprechauns were there” by turning everything upside down in their rooms and in the house. Put things in odd places. Upside down turn around pictures, maybe even rearrange the furniture a little bit
Mmm hmm. That sounds dreamy. Not.
The last thing I want to do after my kids go to be is tiptoe around my house moving furniture in such a way as not to wake my slumbering angels. Would my kids laugh and chortle over some overturned chairs and some upside down pictures? Maybe they would but I’m getting Poltergeist flashback heebie jeebies just thinking about all that. And besides…who’s gonna clean that crap up? A tiny little leprechaun cleaning crew? I think not.
3. Toss green sprinkles all over the breakfast table, on their food and maybe some other fun places around the house
Whoever dreamed up this one has lost her ever-loving mind. First of all the most important meal of the day does not include sprinkles, at least not at my house. And second, what exactly, is defined as “other fun places around the house?” Between the couch cushions? Under the bathroom sink? Besides the “ew, ants” factor, who the heck wants to be finding little green sprinkles on Labor Day? Not this mom.
4. Have the kids create a Leprechaun Trap. We all know those little leprechauns can create a lot of mischief so maybe it’s best to set a few traps and see if they can catch one. Let the kids get creative making their trap using any kind of materials you may have around the house. Add gold glitter to attract the Leprechauns – they love shiny stuff.
I’m a firm believer that glitter is dust of Satan, so anyone who suggests using it is automatically suspicious. And setting a trap for a little Irish dude who might be stealthily sneaking through the house searching for the end of the rainbow (or maybe just some magically delicious cereal) just seems a little creepy.
Seriously, people. I don’t have room in my life for the leprechaun. We have Santa. We have the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and if we didn’t live in Texas, my kids would probably believe in Jack Frost. We even do the whole elf on the shelf thing. Do I really need to add another mythical creature to the lineup?
Between Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, I’m going to do enough backpedaling when my kids get older. If I say yes to the Leprechaun and letting my kids celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day in our home, what next? Is the ghost of George Washington going to come visit our house on President’s Day and leave us little tiny cherry trees?
Stop the madness.
I have no beef against celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m down with green construction paper shamrocks, kissing people because they’re Irish (hey, I’m a hugger) and green beer (and pretty much any celebratory stuff that happens in a bar, lets be real.)
But, I’m going to say “Move on, leprechaun. I hope you find something magically delicious at the end of the rainbow, but the end of the rainbow isn’t at our house, so your magical little feet need to keep on walking.”
Hahahahahahaha!! You had me laughing pretty hard on this one, Robbins.
Yeah, there will be no leprechaun visits here. Like you said, we have enough going on without adding yet another mythical irritation, er, creature to the mix. I can handle Santa and the Bunny. The Tooth Fairy is pretty innocuous. The Elf on My Nerves was a bit much. But this? Please, do NOT let my child come home asking about this. Perhaps we can convince her that it’s limited to school buildings. Yeah, that’s it!
Happy Hugging to you!
As much as I love St. Patrick’s Day (and I do), you will not be finding me doing any of the above, because like you I love my quiet after my kids go to bed a bit too much, too! 😉
I am with you on all of this. The Leprechaun “thing” started when my third child was in preschool (Catholic preschool). The Leprechaun messed up the classroom. Then parents started doing it. I didn’t do it, because I’m Irish and he never came to my house when I was growing up. Well, of course my kids then felt unloved and not Irish. Ugh. This one really irritates me. I’m going to stop, and spare you:). Happy St. Paddy’s Day!
Happy St. Paddy’s day to you!!!
Glitter is the dust of Satan – bwa ha ha! One. Time. I tried that sneaky Leprechaun stuff. I turned our chairs over at the dining room table and filled the bathtub with green water. When we arrived home from daycare, my kids were mad and frightened! Ha! That backfired. That was the last time the Leprechaun visited us (THANKFULLY).
Leprechaun visits? Hell, I’ve got Irish blood and not once has he showed up at my house and good thing that as this is Texas, a stand-your-ground state. Hate to think…
“That bitch has lost her mind” I’m dying over here.
Ant factor or no ant factor, you know you’d find green sprinkles long after your kids have moved out. LOL! Loved this post and sharing! And I did not know this was a thing until today.
So my husband says he thinks it sounds fun. I’m with you – it would be a lot to do and we’d be the ones cleaning it up. Our son is 21 now so we’re really out of the loop on all this new crafty stuff going on. If a leprechaun visits he needs to leave some gold behind.
I love it! I didn’t even know this was real. I had never heard of it and now Pinterest making people have WAY too much time on their hands.
When it comes to St. Patrick’s Day, or any other holiday, we keep it simple by not celebrating. We save SO much money! I am being sarcastic, the real reason is a tad more complex, but the money thing is a nice bonus. And no, my kids don’t miss out 🙂
LOL Jill. Hilarious and awesome!! So… we’re supposed to make a leprechaun trap for my son’s homework, due on Tuesday. I tried to pawn the project off on my husband since I made that awesome 100 day mummy shirt and all but um he’s not buying it. And now Tucker’s like all into the idea. I am glad he’s not old enough to get on Pinterest because um yeah – those bitches are crazy! Move the furniture around? Hang a picture upside down? Like I’m going to mount picture hanging stuff on the wrong end of it to pretend a creepy little green guy did it? No. Thanks for linking up – love it!
“Glitter is the dust of Satan.” OMG!!! I love this so much I cannot even fully explain it! 🙂 Perfect and I so, so agree with you!
Such a good article! THE GIFS ARE AWESOME!!! Love the cat one. Keep up the hard work Jill
I am dying laughing right now. I love glitter.. but not in crafts!!
Welcome Mr. Leprechaun into our house to rearrange the furniture, eat the dog food and sprinkle glitter hither and yon? No thanks. Not happening. Not sure if I’ve shared this little tidbit here before so I’ll soldier on with it. Years ago in the space of a week two neighborhood moms called me to ask if I would do daycare for their monsters, I mean kids. Good lord no. Add more kidlets to the mix? Were they joking? At the best of times I don’t do glitter, glue, homemade playdough – all of the delightful craftie gems that Perfect Day Care Moms do. While I was flattered that they thought I actually shone at that sort of horror I enlighted them to the truth. Still shuddering about the concept. And IMAGINE theme days? Oh the expectations of the parents and their children as St. Val’s, St. Pat’s, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Whatever Day approached. Thank you. But no.
You sound like the type of Mom I can appreciate. No human alive should be allowed to use glitter. But certainly not a child.
I’ll be honest, my kids try to trap that little fucker, but he never makes a mess. HELL NO!
I did not know a thing about this leprechaun trap until I read the FTSF posts this week. Who makes this stuff up? And WHY?? Parenting is hard enough. No thanks – the only leprechaun in my house is the one on the Lucky Charms box.
Yeah, I admit that we dodged the whole super-St. Patrick’s Day kids celebration stuff. Green or gold glitter = nope. Leprechaun traps = nope. I’m with you: green construction paper shamrocks, some fun songs. Some good holiday foods. Aaaaaand, we’re done. Time for the next holiday!
moms don’t need more crap to clean up, that is for sure!
Seriously, wtf is it with the Pinterest Psychosis shit? I looked for ideas for a NYE party thing for the Minons…and ended up with an inferiority complex that had me cramming cheesecake in my head as fast as I could.
OH HELL NAH! Aren’t we tortured enough with that red felted bastard, Elf On The Shelf and now we have this? Not. Happening.
HAHAHAHAHA! I love it. I admit to using the green food coloring in the toilet, but I really like screaming, “THE LEPRECHAUN PEED IN THE BATHROOM!” at the top of my lungs. That never gets old.
So you do everything else but a leprechaun freaks you out?
Instead of a trap and stuff why not a little leprechaun house and you leave little treat or tiny food?
It’s not nice to trap things for money lol
That was funny! My fear with the green toilet water would be our kids sticking their hands in it! Yikes. I am into the green decor for the kids but I don’t see leprechauns actually visiting us either.
Yep, I’m with ya. Green decor…no problem. Sprinkles everywhere and coloring toilet water? NAH.
Hahaha ohhhh damn it! I also had no clue about this but you can be sure I won’t be doing any of it either. My kids can wear a green shirt and off they go!
While I’m definitely a St. Patrick’s Day mom-you had me cracking up- and yes, this bitch IS crazy 😉
Omgness this is hilarious! i’ve never heard of the leprechaun as being in cahoots with Santa and the Easter Bunny and I’m a teacher!
LOL. I’m with you. No other mystical creatures in my house. Sending you wishes from #throwbackthursday
Thank goodness we are French! No chance of leprechauns messing up our house at all. Green glitter? No, definitely not.
Hilarious laughed out loud really. Still gonna sprinkle some satan dust but now I will chuckle as I do it.
This is hilarious!!! I love it! I confess, I did put a little green food coloring in my boys’ pancake syrup and milk in the morning on St. Patty’s Day, but it was just me that did it. Not a Leprachaun. I’m not starting that either.
These ideas are crazy. We just enjoy more green on that day and my 3 year old is just as happy.
I kind-of love St. Patrick’s Day, but this is all just *too much*!
LOL!! Seriously, I can’t imagine people actually doing those things willingly! We don’t celebrate St Patrick’s Day either – I mean, for us, it makes even less sense to do so!
LOL! I’ll let Kindergarten and preschool teachers do that stuff. Not me Ieven when I taught first grade…hell, no). We celebrate by wearing green and eating Irish stew. That’s good enough for me.
Very much enjoyed that! We don’t need another holiday for the Little People. Here, I believe, we have a parade, and I’m sure that someone, somewhere is selling green beer. ::sigh::
Between this, and the elf…. goodness, forget it people!
We will be celebrating with a traditional Irish dinner! Their school has a naughty leprechaun though and that made me laugh.
This post is exactly what I LOVE you! Hell no to the leprechauns. Who has time??!!
Not to be too gross…but we don’t really need any extra effort to make the toilet green. OK that was too gross. This was really funny!
Its kinda like what does Santa ave to do with Christmas
and What does a rabbit have to do with easter
nothing…. but we do it :0)
What the everliving f*ck?
The most outlandish thing we ever did was walk around my aunt’s condo complex looking for the pot of gold. No one ever Elf on a Shelfed that mofo.
And based on my first generation 100% Irish future husband’s hatred of leprechaun lore (It’s apparently a racially negative connotation), we won’t be celebrating leprechauns with our children, ever.
I don’t know…green sprinkles on oatmeal might be fun…St. Patty’s Greetings from Mom…just not a leprechaun! 🙂
So, our grandchildren now live with us, and I like celebrating the holidays in ways I know they never celebrated before, but green toilet bowl water? Eww! Our grandsons are 3and 4, nband they have no concept of what a leprechaun is except for the one on the cereal box. I will serve corned beef and cabbage. Green jello, and salad…and we will make “leprechaun bait,” candy covered pretzels! I’m Irish! And no,the leprechauns do not and never did bring gold coins to us!
PS We got one of those elves…and they creep me out…but since their cousins had one, I got one.
Laughing out loud on this!!! When my 2 boys were small I had a leprechaun one of them made in school on the wall. I ‘hid’ something green for each boy and that was it (OK, I’d make Irish soda bread for dinner). This lasted not very long. Having kids 5 years apart meant one got more cute than the other. They did make traps in second grade..or was it first grade? In SCHOOL and not at home. Pinterest fail.
I almost didn’t read this thinking you had something against St. Patrick’s Day. Now I understand. WTF, I agree. I laugh so hard reading this.
Amen. We have enough cultural holidays to support in our house with an American-Jewish-Finnish-Chinese household (there are three dates for new year’s celebrations in there alone). Plus glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
You sound like a bundle of laughs.
Thank you so much! I’m really fun at parties.