Dear Reese Witherspoon – This ‘Mommy Blogger’ is Giving You Virtual Side Eye

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Dear Reese Witherspoon

Hey girl.

The “hey girl” is okay, right? I feel like we’ve kind of come of age together. I’ve been watching your movies, following your adventures in life and love (although not in a weird, creepy, stalkerish way) since before either of us needed a night serum.

[Tweet “to @RWitherspoon from a Mommy Blogger”]

I’ve always admired you as a role model for women. Even during that annoying summer where my daughter watched Legally Blonde on a loop.

That was really, really annoying by the way. 

I’m sure you wouldn’t have been super thrilled if your kid had announced one day at breakfast “I memorized the whole Elle Woods movie.”

You are a talented actress and I think, probably, a good mom. I remember reading how you said that “Ava can have as many sparkles as she wants, but she’s not showing her belly button.” As a relatively modest person, I gave you a virtual fist bump.

I’ve admired how you’ve raised your kids, managed your (not always successful) personal relationships, and kicked ass at your Hollywood career. I had your back when you got pulled over for drunk driving in 2013. Well…you know what I mean. I didn’t jump on the hater’s train when you showed the world that you were human and made a bad decision to drive after having one too many.

I supported you. I stuck up for you because you know what? I think women, especially mothers, should stick together. I think we should lift each other up as much as possible.

But maybe you don’t see it that way?

You were recently recognized by the Wall Street Journal as the Entertainment Innovator of the Year. That’s a pretty big deal. Go you.

When you accepted your award, you stood up in front of a room full of muckety mucks and talked about the need for entertainment content created by women for women. You talked about the need for diversity in casting and in content.

I wasn’t in that room, picking at my $500 plate of chicken salad. I’m just guessing about the $500 plate of chicken salad. I’m just a simple mom from Texas and I don’t have much of an idea about how fancy luncheons work in New York City. I do know that if I had been in that room, I would have been cheering you on…maybe too enthusiastically. Maybe you’d have nodded toward me imperceptibly and told the muckety mucks “That’s Jill from Texas. She’s a little out of her element.”

But when you uttered that line about reaching women on multiple platforms with quality content and then adding the zinger “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey,” you lost my vote.

I’m a mom. I’m a blogger. This is how I make my living.

I don’t like being called a mommy blogger.

I mean…I’m someone’s mommy and I’m a blogger. Sometimes I blog about my motherhood experience. Sometimes I blog about other things. The trips we take. The feelings I feel. The things I make for my family to eat. Sadly, I can’t speak much about 14 ways to cook a turkey. I only know one way.

But, come on, Reese. Sometimes you talk to the media about your motherhood experience. Are we that different?

Would you want someone to call you a “mommy actress?” I’m guessing not. Because, come on. It's demeaning. It's belittling. It's all the things I wouldn't expect you to be on the delivering end of.

Would any badass woman who is juggling parental responsibilities with work responsibilities want “mommy” tacked onto their job title? Really?

Mommy doctor?

Mommy lawyer?

Mommy teacher?

Mommy engineer?

Yeah, just no.

Since I wasn’t one of the muckety mucks in the room when you were recognized by the Wall Street Journal as the Entertainment Innovator of the Year, I’m not sure what the reaction your “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey,” comment received.

Maybe some giggles.

Maybe some light applause.

As I said, I’m a mom. I write about mom things on the internet. I’ve bared my soul about having post adoption depression. I’ve poked fun of the people who buy leggings with a cult-like fanaticism. I have shared information that helps families have a better vacation. I’ve even shared tutorials on how to make food and how to make crafts.

Does that make me small? Does that make my knowledge or accomplishments insignificant?

The answer is no, but when you throw out phrases like “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey,” you belittle my contributions.

“Mommy bloggers” offer ways for women to connect with one another. It offers us a space to share information about what we’re going through, what we’re struggling with, what works and what doesn’t.

And, if that includes advice on 14 ways to cook a freaking turkey, so what? Who are you to belittle those connections?

I started my “mommy blog” as a way to tell a story. It evolved into an outlet. I found a relief in writing down my parenting struggles. And interestingly enough, there were others out there reading. Listening. Responding. Connecting.

Your “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey,” belittles those stories and connections. Probably not intentionally, but belittling all the same.

We are women. We are moms.

But, we are so much more than that.

There are so many boss moms out there making a living with their blogs. I am one of them. I am proud to be one of them.

If I’d have been in that room when you accepted your award, picking at my $500 plate of chicken salad (which, let’s be real, probably tastes a whole lot like $5.99 chicken salad), my cheeks would have burned. I would have felt dissed and belittled.

Why take each other down like this?

I’m a blogger. I’m a published writer and a speaker. I’m a mom. I’m a badass.

I don’t need to be reduced to a phrase like “And I’m not talking about mommy blogs and 14 ways to cook a turkey.”

I’m damn proud of my accomplishments. If you want to reduce what I’ve managed to carve out for myself to the term “mommy blog” then go ahead.

I know I’m so much more than that.

You have a lot of talent, Reese. You have a voice. I know your “mommy blog” comment was not meant to offend and probably not well thought out. Maybe the internet backlash that’s to come will make you regret your words or prompt an apology.

At least let’s hope.

But here’s the bottom line, Reese:

You’re taking down a segment of the population in order to uplift another.

I’m not sure that’s “Innovator of the Year” behavior.

Just my thoughts as a “mommy blogger.”

h/t Huffington Post

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  1. Sorry but you have to step back and realize that most mommy bloggers don’t work outside the home and are making money from SHOPPING and reviewing clothing items that they most likely don’t even like or wear. MOST mommy blogs don’t represent real women who juggle parenting, working, housework, etc. Blogs like Mix and Match Mama are unrealistic – we can’t afford to shop the way she does and it makes many women feel inferior. No one blog is singled out but you have to realize that mommy blogging, to many, is not a good representation of mom life

    1. I’m going to concede that you know more about “most mommy blogs” than I do because what you’re describing doesn’t fit any of the “mommy bloggers” that I know…and I know a quite a few. I certainly don’t get paid to go shopping and while I do not work outside the home anymore, I did for a long time. I’m fortunate to have achieved what I have and I work very hard. Sometimes the disaster that is my laundry pile and the fact that my kids took a lunchable to school AGAIN attests to that.

      I don’t know how you can come up with a profile for “most mommy blogs” but you seem to think you’re right, so I’ll let you go with that.

      Your definition of “most mommy blogs” doesn’t describe this blog and by your comment, I can tell you haven’t spent too much time around here. I have no idea who Mix and Match Mama is…I personally consider it a big win if anything on me matches and that sort of fancy is saved for special ocassions. To be fair, there probably ARE people who can afford to shop the way she does, whoever she is…a lid for every pot and all that. Find blog you like that doesn’t make you feel inferior. Maybe it’s this one, maybe not. Maybe “mommy blogs” aren’t your thing?

      1. haha actually there are lots of mommy blogs that I like and maybe if your response to me wasn’t such an angry one, I might have tried to like yours, too!!
        Not sure why you say that I seem to think I am right? You are reading a lot into my thoughts and to be honest, you seem a little angry. Perhaps if you just take some time to browse at some of the Texas mom blogs out there you will see what I mean about expensive shopping tastes and maybe those are the kinds of blogs Reese is referring to.

  2. Mommy bloggers I think are quite courageous especially that they are able to do multitasking and their words and works have a great impact not only to mommy out there the whole public.