I’m a mommy blogger and I effing like it
I’m a mommy blogger and I effing like it
I told my friends Kristi and Meredith that I had better things to do that to write this post.
Turns out it’s a little bit of a slow day in the Robbins household.
The rain is giving me the perfect excuse to postpone my trip to the grocery store, my housework is done and my kids are zoned out in front of The Force Awakens for what feel like the 857th time, so I guess I have a minute to share my thoughts about little blog post that’s going viral around the internets today.
The post I’m talking about is called “Dear Mommy Blogger” written by a mommy blogger named Josi who vigorously insists she’s not a mommy blogger…anymore. She posted it in a Facebook group where bloggers share their work with an intro of “Your Mommy Blog Fucking Sucks” followed by #sorrynotsorry.
I’ve read – and enjoyed – a lot of Josi’s writing. She seems to be going through some sort of transformation, and like many of us, she probably finds writing cathartic. I’ve seen her go from writing chirpy blog posts about how much she loves her KitchenAid to raw essays about how her deadbeat ex doesn’t pay child support for their three children.
She posted “Dear Mommy Blogger” yesterday and asked for feedback. From other mommy bloggers.
I read the intro about how she rocked the world of mommy blogging (she’s awesome and she’ll tell you all about it) but when I got to this part:
“Your mommy blog fucking sucks no one is reading your shit,”
and I rolled my eyes sky high and clicked exit. I like a good rant now and then but I decided I had more important stuff to do, like catch up on Candy Crush and organize my kitchen junk drawer. Do you have that one drawer in your kitchen that’s just a catch-all for crap?
In the past 24-hours, I’ve seen “Dear Mommy Blogger” in my Facebook newsfeed about half a dozen times. It’s being discussed and picked apart in the blogger/writer circles. People either love it or hate it. When I saw the avalanche of counterpoint posts start to emerge, I decided to give in and read the entire post.
Man. I rolled my eyes so hard I think they almost got stuck in the back of my head there for a minute.
In case you don’t have the time, energy or stomach to read a 3,000 word manifesto about how mommy bloggers suck, let me give you the Cliff Notes:
Moms bloggers suck. We are fake, soulless time-wasters who use too many exclamation points. Oh wait – we are fake, soulless time-wasters who use too many exclamation points!!!! There, that’s better!
There are about a dozen F-bombs (in case that kind of thing bugs you) and there’s a lot of talk about give-a-ways and a quote from The Feminine Mystique that just kind of confused me. It ended with a call to action to save yourself now and quit mommy blogging…because your blog sucks.
I thought it was mean and I don’t like mean. I try not to be mean…sometimes I screw up, blow up and say or do things I shouldn’t but if at the end of my life, people say “We’ll miss that Jill. She wasn’t a douchebag,” I’ll count that as a win.
And yeah, I kind of took this whole “Your Mommy Blog Sucks” post personally.
Because you know what? I’m a mommy blogger and I effing like it.
The term “mommy blogger” has mixed reviews in the blogging underworld. Did you know there was a blogging underworld? Actually, it’s a bunch of secret Facebook groups where we talk about reach and engagement, plugins, algorithms, keywords and other sexy stuff. Anyhoo…the term “mommy blogger” bugs some mommy bloggers. I guess people think it’s negative or fluffy. Whatever.
I don’t walk up to strange people and say “Hi, Jill Robbins, Mommy Blogger.” Actually, I’m an introvert so I try not to walk up to strange people at all, but you know what I mean. My business card says “Freelance Writer” and I think that better describes what I do, since I’m super fancy and get paid for some of my writing now. I don’t refer to Ripped Jeans and Bifocals as a “mommy blog” but as an online community for parents. But, if you want to call it a mommy blog, no big whoop. I’m easy going.
I don’t feel the need to defend myself or respond to everything on the internet I don’t agree with, but while Josi is sitting back and reaping the rewards of a rant gone viral (and while my kids are glued to the boob tube) I felt like chiming in.
Because I’m a mommy blogger and I effing like it.
People do “read my shit” and like it. I don’t dabble in the world of product review that much but I have taken on some paid work for brands who want to get their products in front of my audience. I’ve written about everything from bladder supports to frozen yogurt to cheese in a voice that’s…well, my voice. My real voice. Sponsored work and ads help fund the cost of running my website and allow my family to have some nice things we couldn’t have if I didn’t blog. I have zero shame about that.
I have a soul. I happen to love exclamation points!!! I am essentially a happy person who gets excited about cheese. Neither my life nor my “mommy blog” are presented as rainbows and unicorn farts. In fact, my hardest day as a parent is what started me writing in the first place.
The 20,000 people that follow my blog through email and social media are seeing the real me. I’m not fake. I have good days and bad days. Some days, I am almost positive the Mother of the Year people are going to ring my doorbell and give me a bottle of wine, a new pair of yoga pants and a Starbucks gift card…because if there were a Mom of the Year Trophy, it would be that, amiright? Other days, I’m hiding in the bathroom with my Kindle and a bag of Hershey kisses and my husband takes care of the kids because I tell him “I’m pooping.”
And I write it all down. I’m a mom blogger and that’s what I do.
Blogging and writing gives me an outlet for the word jumble that spins in my head. It allows me to connect with people: to make them laugh, make them think and most of all, to make any parent out there, adoptive or otherwise, know that it’s okay to admit you struggle and have those “OMG I’m a sucky mom” kind of days.
Josi pays for her domain and pays for her blog to be on the internet just like I do. She’s allowed to say what she wants to say. If she wants to trumpet the “you suck” message to mommy bloggers everywhere and then sit back and giggle as the page views on her monetized blog climb and the impressions from the ads and affiliate links go “CHACHING” into her bank account, then more power to her.
As for me, I’ll keep on oversharing about my love of wine and coffee and my life as a mom in general. I’ll keep on complaining about how little sleep I get and how much I hate my muffin top. Because I’m a mommy blogger and I effing like it. So there.
I’ll leave you with a quote…and if you find this share-worthy, click on the image and it will take you to the Facebook page where this graphic was created and the lovely lady who made it will get proper credit:
Thank you for reading!
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This was a great read Jill… See how easy it is to write about something you oppose and not be a jerk Josi?
Thanks for writing what most of us feel Jill. ?
Thank you Ellen. I’ve enjoyed reading your – gasp – Mommy blog. You’re an awesome person and I look forward to connecting with you more.
I agree with your position in that she is likely going through something we aren’t privy to. I really hope she can regain the trust she’s lost with those who supported her most.
Oh, and !!!!!!!!!!!!! No one can curb my use of the exclamation point. No one!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Yeah. I mean, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m effing happy and that’s that.
I absolutely love this Jill. It is impossible to not take her post personally and it was extremely mean! I definitely understand being honest and raw, but that was way too much. I love how you called her out on her crap, gave some cliff notes, and didn’t link to her post.
Totally linked to this post in mine. Spot on. I am disappointed in this post by Josi. She has the potential to be a great writer with a successful blog. Instead of writing an uplifting post, or even a decent rant, she literally threw everything out there in the worst way possible in an effort to hurt someone… anyone. Maybe she’s hurting inside right now, but she doesn’t need to take it out on everyone else.
I think Josi Denise is not in a good place. Not really an excuse to be an asshole but maybe a mitigating circumstance?
Loved it. Wish we lived closer so I could come over and do a fist bump or something. LOL. I don’t do fist bumps. The part about watching her numbers climb on her monetized blog. Ummm. Yeah. Perfect ending with the quote too. Great job!
For sure I wish you lived closer. We would sit on the porch and drink sweet tea and say “bless your heart” alot.
The only thing I thought while reading Josi’s post was that she wrote a controverial post precisely to get page views, which is somethig she probably learned at one of her conferences. 🙂 Good post Jill! Thanks for defending what you love.
I do know she paid for advertising on her post so it would reach more people. She was in a “mommy blogger” group with me and insisted she “had no idea it would do this well.”
Amen, sister! And guess what? I just read your sh**! No skimming, no fake comment (why would anyone bother to just make a generic comment anyway?). I read your sh** and I liked it (actually, I loved it). And I read all of your other sh**, too, because I WANT to. The author of that other post was just a bully, as far as I’m concerned, and she was just trying to drum up viewers just like all of the mommy bloggers she was putting down. High five, Jill!
Oh, you’re a gem. Thank you. And when I have a minute, I’m going to look into Boonton Township. Because that sounds like an effing fun place. MUAH.
I just wrote a post about this and went to see what other people are saying and found you! You nailed it.
She had some decent points but apples coated in acid are still poisonous. I highly suspect a lot of mommy bloggers will be very offended by her post. I’ll be over here with a crooked smile about the irony of her post and the multiple email pop-ups I received while reading it and the little “support me by clicking here” link at the bottom of it. End of the day, she’s doing what we are all doing, trying to be heard (lord knows our kids don’t listen), unfortunately she chose to alienate her biggest audience. Whoopsies.
I think she has some decent points too but the polarizing hypocrite shit? Just no. Her blog is full up monetized. She’s got “how to start a blog” on her side bar and her recent posts are sponsored, soul-sucking posts. She’s pregnant. Maybe it’s the hormones. IDK.
Well said! And thanks for saying it!
– Ayelet from Strength In Words
“Your mommy blog fucking sucks no one is reading your shit,”
I know people reading my “shit” from the critics they wrote to me…. and it’s a lot! Lol!
I like your words, thank you!
This is a great post. I have not read hers and probably won’t because I don’t care about her effing mommy blog, lol. 😉 Really I am just kidding, maybe she is going through something or wanted to go viral. I am thankful for mommy blogs. I love reading them and writing mine. I also think yours is really funny and I love reading what you have to say!(Especially about coffee and wine!!!!!!!!)
Yeah, don’t bother. You’ve got the gist. Thanks, Deanna!
Jill, I adore you and I love reading your posts! I read Josi’s and I really wish I hadn’t. It just REALLY irked me, in a way that a lot of Scary Mommy articles do – it felt as though she wrote it just for controversy and so she could throw out a few f-bombs. Clearly it worked but I’m just not a fan. I’m sick of mommy wars, I’m sick of blogger wars, I’m sick of war. Peace and love, man. And maybe some of that wine you mentioned…
Omg love!!!!! I really do think Josie must be in a bad place to write with such anger. She made a lot of valid points, but at the same time you don’t attack people just because you don’t agree. I can think of so many other ways she could of gotten her point across without insulting every mother in the world with a blog. Now because of her choice of words she has lost the whole blogging community which obviously was very kind to her at one point I time based on looking at her site stuff of sponsored content. I give her a week and when her 15 minutes of blogger fame are up she’s going to regret every last word she wrote lol….
Thank you for this! I was having a hard night and this post really made me laugh and lifted my spirits. I did a dramatic read of it to my husband. : 0 ) Love it!
PREACH! No wait… PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you ended it PERFECTLY with that quote.
Yes, yes to all of this!! (<—- written as someone who overuses exclamation points in my blog posts because I am genuinely a very enthusiastic person.) Having had the pleasure of hanging out with you in person on several occasions and knowing what a true and genuine person you are, I know you are 100% behind the words that you write here, and I enjoy reading them.
I’m so effing glad you responded to that post in a classier manner. I’m no Mommy blogger, but I support several by reading and commenting on their posts. I couldn’t even finish the other one’s post because I was reading it on my phone and that pop-up was not very responsive.
Amen! The sad thing is that she’s profiting from everyone’s outrage. I find it a bit pathetic when people pull themselves up by dragging others down. Love your response though 🙂
I freaking love this post. Let’s all just do us, and not talk down about it. Keep hustling fellow mom blogger!
I have been hearing about all this but have no desire to read what she wrote. You spell it out so well and I do love reading your blog!! Keep it up 🙂 And I agree that you gotta do you and if that means being called a “mommy blogger” than I am ok with it too.
I am a blogger who happens to be a mom so I get called a mom blogger and I don’t have a hangup about it. I agree with your points and you wrote a fair post. Yes she was just plain mean and rude about it. Her anger really showed. I don’t really care what someone like her thinks of my blog because of do it for myself. Her stereotyping is way over the top.
I think the best part of this post is I have never seen the mean mommy blogger sucks post, but I keep seeing this one pop up in my circle or underground groups. And it makes me super proud each time, love you woman! Keep on rocking the inter webs
I love reading mummy blogs. They show we all have a common bond. They help me cope with tough times, when it comes to mothering and I’ll continue to read them. because, they do not suck. Even when they promote products, it’s just a way of maintaining the blog. And, I have no problem with that.