13 Signs You Need a Mommy Time Out
There is little doubt that our babies are gifts from above. We absolutely love our offspring. We are thankful that they decided to grace us with their irresistible cuteness.
That being said, we are frequently tired and often overwhelmed. Sometimes we may even envision the men in white coats whisking us away. It’s true.
We eat, live and breathe our children. They are always around, always in need of us. Unsurprisingly, this can make mommy a little nutty and as we get older, we may find it increasingly challenging to keep up with the circus.
Since we have been trapped in such a lovely bubble for so long, our minds have become mush. We may turn forgetful or become preoccupied. In plain English, we are exhausted. We desperately need a break.
Here are 13 signs that mean mommy just might need a time out:
1. Every time you walk into a room, you forget why you did so in the first place.
Why did I need to come in here again? For diapers? A nail clipper? The hopes of regaining my sanity?
2. You wake up signing the Sponge Bob theme song. Or the Sesame Street theme song.
Or any Nickelodeon/Disney/ PBS Kids theme songs…
3. You sometimes call your son by your daughter’s name. Or your daughter by your son’s name. Or both of them by the family dog’s name.
Hell, you barely remember your own name anymore. There is also an adult that lives with you but you cannot seem to recall his name either.
4. You heard Leonardo Dicaprio was nominated for an Oscar. You hope he wins.
“Titanic” was a great movie and he deserves it for that performance!
5. You are way too enamored by all the actors on your kid’s favorite Nick or Disney sitcoms.
You follow some of them on social media and have read their Wikipedia pages.
6. Mom: “How about some nuggets and fries for dinner tonight?”
Kids: “Mom, we’ve had them three nights in a row.”
Mom: “So……is that a no?
7. You are constantly annoyed that Thomas and His Friends always manage to screw things up.
No wonder Sir Topham Hatt is always cross!
8. Your annual trip to the OB/GYN seems like a vacation and you can’t wait to catch up on the pamphlets for birth control and menopause!
9. You sometimes need a reminder of what day it is.
You’ve also been known to confuse months. Wait, what year is this again?
10. You’ve hidden in the closet while eating Oreos simply because you just didn’t feel like sharing.
11. You mutter “I’m too old for this shit” under your breath at least once every five minutes.
12. “It’s five o’clock somewhere” has become your daily mantra.
13. You are currently daydreaming about being alone on a deserted island with a drink in your hand.
Or, at the very least, the opportunity to go to the bathroom by yourself.
Do YOU feel like you need a mommy time out?
Kathleen Sullivan is a a freelance writer and full-time mom. Her work has has appeared in The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Club Mid, Mamalode, Your Tango and Mommyish. She blogs at Three Kids, One Husband and a Bottle of Wine.
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Oh wow. Now I feel much less shame about my crush on one of the Wiggles. Or the time I told the kids (while walking up the stairs with a glass of wine) that it was “Mommy and Me Time,” but I was referring to myself in the third person, twice.
HILARIOUS! And oh so true. Every last one of them.