• All About Jill
  • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Ripped Jeans & Bifocals

Adoption, motherhood and midlife

  • Home
  • Christmas
  • Travel
    • Montana Travel
    • Texas
    • East Coast
    • West Coast
    • Midwest
    • Southwest
    • Way Out West
    • Everything Else
    • Disney
    • Cruises
    • Travel Tips
  • Lifestyle
    • Mom Life
    • Adoption
    • Entertainment
    • Cars
    • Recipes
    • Blogging
  • Mom Life & Adoption
    • Mom Life
    • Adoption
    • Listen To Your Mother

Dora the Explorer is turning 15…and this is how I feel about it

September 5, 2015 by Jill Leave a Comment

Dora the Explorer turns 15 this month.

I will just let that sink in.

Pity me, people. I have a 23-year-old and two 5-year-olds…and yes, I know that’s a big gap between kids.  Laura was eight when Dora first came on the air. We had about a year and a half of “OMG everything about this kid with the weirdly large head gets on my ever-loving last nerve” before she moved on to more mature (but equally annoying) shows such as the Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana and iCarly. Don’t even start me on them.

I had about a 10 year reprieve from truly annoying children’s television.

When we became parents of a two-year-old at midlife, we were thrust into the world of Mickey Mouse Club House, Handy Manny, and he-whose-name-must-not-be-spoken-aloud…hint: it starts with Cai and ends with llou…that little bald brat sends parents everywhere running for the wine and Tylenol, amiright? And hey newbie parents…don’t Google Caillou.  Don’t. Do. It. You will have to trust me on this.

And Dora. She and her backpack were still around.

I hate Dora…and her little monkey, too.

via GIPHY

Whoops…wrong cartoon.

So…I’m a Dora hater…I’ll just put that out there.  She’s got her redeeming qualities, such as the fact that I can have 24 uninterrupted minutes to do whatever I want…poop in peace…shower…pin all the things…that, and the fact that my kids are practically bilingual…but I still hate her and her stupid, creepy backpack.

But…she’s 15. If our little melon-headed friend were a real girl, she’d be getting her learner’s permit (eek!) and probably be giving her parents major attitude…because 15.

Dora is 15, moms and dads, and still going strong. It looks like she’s gonna stick around awhile.

Here are 7 things that get on my ever-loving-last-nerve about Dora:

Dora the Explorer is turning 15 and here's how I feel about it|Ripped Jeans and Bifocals|Dora the Explorer|annoying kids shows|cartoon ideas|

  1. The theme song makes me want to day drink.

If you hear “Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorerrrrrrrrrr” in the morning, that ear worm is all yours for the entire day.  Although…in the big picture of annoying children’s songs, this one is low on the list.

  1. Stuff that shouldn’t have a face has a face

 It creeps me the hell out. That’s all.

Reason #2 Dora annoys me: stuff that shouldn’t have a face has a face. Creepy.

Click To Tweet

  1. The stuff that just doesn’t make sense

Where are the adults? Where are her parents? Why haven’t they taken her to an optometrist or bought her some shorts and tee-shirts that actually fit? Why haven’t they introduced her to some real kids so she doesn’t have to hang out with a weirdo monkey all the time? This shit keeps me awake at night, people.

  1. The Swiper

Why do we have to yell “Swiper no swiping” three freakin’ times, people? Wouldn’t once be okay?  This nonsense has invaded our dinner table in the form of some weird game my husband plays with my kids to try to get them to eat their food…if they think he wants to “swipe” it then they suddenly become super interested in that last stalk of broccoli. Effective but man…I am running for the wine and Tylenol before it’s really respectable.

  1. I just don’t like the way she looks at me

Like I should know where her stuff is, you know? Whatever she is looking for is either behind her or right in front of her nose. It makes me want to slap her and scream “open your eyes, you blind little brat!” I mean…if she’d actually take a second to look around her without asking me where her stuff is…well then my wine bill would maybe be lower. Just saying.

  1. Dora is the loudest child on the planet

Can you imagine if your child had a playdate with Dora (shudders)? She doesn’t speak quietly…her regular communication is some sort of bizarre, deranged cheer that makes me want to run for the wine and Tylenol. Are you seeing a pattern?

  1. The supporting characters make no sense

Boots. Pet? Sidekick? Helpful friend?  Weird.  Just weird.

via GIPHY

Swiper. The fox being the bad guy is so cliché.  And why does he sometimes wear a mask and sometimes not? He’s a bad guy so we have to put the bandit mask on him so we know he’s a bad guy? Because anyone who has on a bandit mask might as well be wearing a sign that says: “hey boys and girls: Ima gonna steal this blind kid’s shit.” If Swiper were in a police lineup with other cartoon foxes, I am pretty sure I could get to positive ID without his little bandit mask.

via GIPHY

But it’s not all terrible.  Dora makes me feel better about my own parenting. I know where my kids are. They’re in my house getting on my nerves making me run for the wine and Tylenol but I know they’re not lollytrotting around town talking to their backpacks and asking other people to help them find their stuff. Come on…that’s what they have me for.  My kids wear clothes that fit and if they displayed such an obvious lack of being able to see the stuff that’s right in front of their noses, they’d be seeing an optometrist.

Yeah…I claim to be a Dora hater, but I actually have a favorite Dora episode:

The Magic Stick. Dora and Boots find a “magic stick that can do the trick.” The magic stick had many uses: spare parts for a paddle, a rung on a ladder and the best one ever: to scratch an itch. I mean…who doesn’t like a magic stick that does the trick?”

via GIPHY

Hey…we do what we have to do to do to make that whiny, high-pitched voice just a teensy bit more bearable, amiright?

Happy birthday, Dora. I hope you have an awesome quinceanera…that is assuming you can actually locate your parents.  Sure, you’re a little weird but I guess you’re basically harmless.  Just don’t turn out like this kid:

via GIPHY

Cheers, people.

Thanks for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed reading this, you NEED to come hang out with me on Facebook! A click a day boosts my ranking on Top Mommy Blogs! Please click! A visit a day boosts my blog ranking at Top Mommy Blogs - The Best Mommy Blog Directory Ever! Visit Ripped Jeans and Bifocals’s profile on Pinterest.


Leave a Comment

« I didn’t step on a LEGO today – And other small parenting victories
The story behind my kids’ Chinese names…if I had a do-over »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

All About Jill

I'm a digital content creator and essayist who copes with parenting and most other situations with humor and snark. Just so you know, if this weren't the internet, I'd be smiling awkwardly and answering simple questions like "How are you today" with gems like "I like pockets."

I really do love pockets, though.

I spent 26 years in the USAF, which went by really, really fast. I'm very proud of my service but I'm loving my second act even more. Writing gives me the opportunity to flex my creative muscles and that's what makes me happy. Welcome.

Read More…

Recent Snaps

rippedjeansandbifocals

Freelance Writer & Travel Expert
Producer, Listen to Your Mother SA
💜 Mom via birth & #adoption
🐈 Human to @remusthebengalcat
🇺🇸 USAF veteran
📍#texas

Jill Robbins
"Intelligence + Character. That is the goal of tru "Intelligence + Character. That is the goal of true education." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I saw a lot of posts about Martin Luther King yesterday when I was doing my scrolls through social media...on a day where I wasn't supposed to be ON social media, ahem. We hear and see a lot of Dr. King's words and quotes one day a year. So, instead of apologizing for posting this "a day late" I'll share that I'm challenging myself to remember some of these important words more than one day a year.

Our kids are watching us right now. I mean...they're always watching us but I think what they see in these times is more important than ever. Nuturing our kids' intelligence and character is more important than ever. My kids are 10 now - this picture is about four years old - and they are absorbing EVERYTHING we say, how we say it and even what we don't say. 

This mural is near the suspension bridge in downtown Waco. Waco is famous for all the Magnolia things but there's a lot there for families, too, and the park around the bridge is a great place to explore along the Brazos River. 

#martinlitherkingday #martinlutherkingquotes #wacotexas #wacoheartoftexas #wacohot #texastravel #texastodo #onlyintexas #texaskids #texasfamilies #alamocreatives #igtexasphoto 
#raisinggoodhumans #raisingboys
Here’s something you’ve probably never seen be Here’s something you’ve probably never seen before: my bottom teeth.
.
I always hide my crooked bottom teeth in pictures and I’m super self-conscious when I talk. So I did something about it.
.
I wore braces as a kid and my top teeth are straight but my bottom teeth are shifting and one tooth is traveling into the back of my mouth and I have some crowding. My orthodontist said it’s very unusual to put braces on just half your mouth but my bite is still aligned so they didn’t have to put them on my top teeth - my wallet is thankful.
.
Questions I’ve already been asked:
.
1️⃣ At your age? Yes, at my age. I still care about my smile. 
.
3️⃣ How long do you have to wear them?
.
6-9 months.
.
3️⃣ Do they hurt? 
.
My teeth are sore and my mouth is tender but not to the Tylenol level so I guess the answer is “Not too much.”
.
Other questions? Advice?
.
#braceface #adultbraces
Little things can really be big - do you agree? M Little things can really be big - do you agree?

My husband gets up with our kids twice a week and does their breakfast and morning routine and takes them to school so I can sleep in. I don't laze away the morning in bed - it usually amounts to about an extra hour of sleep for me and a little more peace and quiet as I start my day. 

This probably seems like a little thing but this is huge for me. The mental benefits of not having to set my alarm on a schoolday is truly my love language. I would rather have sleep than flowers or presents. 

On those morning where my husband takes my kids to school, I will inevitably find the kitchen not "just so." There will be spills on the table or something that didn't get put away. I resist the urge to be sarcastic or to ask "Um, is there a reason we have four boxes of cereal just sitting on the counter?" or point out that it would take less than 30 seconds to wipe a tabletop or put a box back on the shelf. I resist saying stuff like "I guess if I want it done a certain way, I have to do it myself." I don't even say that to myself. 

My husband isn't "doing me a favor" by taking care of our kids. When I talked about being stressed and tired during an argument last year, he offered to take some things off my plate and giving me two mornings where I don't have to set an alarm was one of his ideas. It's part of the give and take of marriage and even though it makes me clench a little when I see spilled milk or stuff that hasn't put away, I appreciate having a partner who shares the load with me. 

My marriage definitely is not perfect and I'm in no position to give relationship advice. But for us, this one little thing is a really big deal. 

And, as I've recently discovered, a cereal box can sit on the counter for several days and the world doesn't explode. Who knew.

#thisisus #thisismarriage #loveandmarriage #happywifehappylife #marriedlife #mancrusheveryday #texas #texasstyle #rippedjeansandbifocals #marriagegoals #relationshipgoals #coparenting #parenting #momlifebelike #momlifeisthebestlife #ocd #ocdmomproblems #ocdmommy
Anyone else having massive “This time last year” moments?
.
2020 started out so fine. We extended our kids’ winter break to take them on a Disney Cruise- no better reason than that, amiright- and I was excited about all the Disney Cruise blog posts I was going to write. Disney Cruises are (errr...were?) one of the most searched terms on my website and how a lot of people found me.
.
Early 2020 was such a time of hope and light that pretty much everyone took for granted.
.
While it’s become glaringly obvious the change in the calendar isn’t a magic potion, I still have hope for this year and still believe there magic yet to happen.
.
You know...the good stuff.
.
#believe #disneycruise #disneycruiseline #disneycruiselife #disneywonder #disneymagic #disneycreators #disneycreatordays #mondayxmhe #disneymagicmoments #nowmorethanever
We got our first Raddish Kids box right before the We got our first Raddish Kids box right before the holidays and finally dug into it this weekend. Our box had a cold-weather theme which was perfect for this cold weather we're having (flurries in San Antonio can you believe it?!)

Each box contains three recipe cards, a culinary tool, an iron-on patch and Table Talk conversation starter cards. A shopping list is included and also emailed to you in advance in case you want to be ready to cook as soon as your box arrives. You buy all the groceries yourself. 

We made homemade chicken and dumplings this weekend and they turned out amazing. If you need modifications (i.e. gluten or dairy free) you can hop on to the @raddishkids website and go to the "Bonus Bites" section. You'll find modifications, food videos, extra recipes, parent info and more fun stuff. 

The price ranges from $20-$24 per box depending on what type of subscription you choose. Boxes are designed for kids 4-14+ with varying degrees of supervision needed depending on your child's skills and age. Kyle and i have done two meals from this box - we still have cookies left to make - and worked together about 50-50. It was a lot of fun. 

To order yours, here's my affiliate link https://raddish-kids-monthly-delivery.sjv.io/edoAr or read my full review (link in bio)

#raddishkids #raddishkidscook #raddishkidsrecipes #kidswhocook #kidchef
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 Ripped Jeans and Bifocals by Krizzy Designs

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.