Everything’s better with butter…AKA how to avoid Mother’s Day Meltdowns

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Mother’s Day meltdowns just plain suck. I’m not talking about kid meltdowns, either. I’m talking about you, mama.

Mother’s Day is our day, our time. We approach this day with visions of brunch, epic presents and relaxation. And when I say relaxation, I mean drinking your coffee while it’s still sort of hot, peeing without a cheering section and not having to deal with any small human who happens to be upset because you failed to cut the crusts off their toast.

But we’re often disappointed because Mother’s Day doesn’t turn out according to our plans.

Mother’s Day is touted as a day that’s all about us…but is it really? The advertising industry sucks us in with images of clean, happy children bestowing elaborate floral arrangements upon their beautiful, smiling mamas. Mamas that aren’t rocking the messy bun. Mamas that don’t have oatmeal smeared all over their blouse. Mamas that look like they got more than 90 minutes of consecutive REM sleep.

The reality is, we don’t get a day that’s “all about us” until our children are too old to want to have anything to do with us.

It is what it is.

Here are five things you can to do avoid meltdowns on Mother’s Day…and again, mamas, I’m lookin’ at you, not the short, sticky people that live in your house.

1. Be realistic

If you’re expecting a Zen Mother’s Day where your children descend upon you with useful and tasteful gifts (after allowing you to sleep for a solid eight hours) you might want to rethink. If you’re expecting a gourmet breakfast in bed and a day free from the responsibilities of butt-wiping, snack-making and searching for lost articles that don’t belong to you, you may want to consider checking into a hotel. By yourself. 

The truth of it is, Mother’s Day probably isn’t going to be all that different from any other day. You might get cool presents, like a statement necklace made of macaroni and glitter strung on some yarn. Someone might take you out to brunch where you will probably still have to cut someone else’s waffles. The people that produce greeting card commercials are crazy, have never been around children or maybe both. If you can remember that and keep your expectations low, you might be all right.

2. Communicate

If you have certain (realistic) expectations on Mother’s Day, open your mouth and tell someone, preferably your husband, partner or whoever has the primary gift-buying responsibility and plan-making responsibility. Since this person is usually you, you might want to cut the B-team some slack and be really specific. Really, really specific.

I’ve found circling items in catalogs and leaving them in conspicuous places around our house gets a good result but my husband is pretty perceptive. Telling your loved ones something like “I sure would like it if you’d make a brunch reservation at such-and-such places for 11 o’clock,” or “I’d like to sleep until 8:30 so take whatever measures are necessary to include duct tape tp keep the kids quiet and out of our room.” No one is a mind reader. If there’s a particular something you need to make your Mother’s Day happy, open your mouth and tell someone. I know it might be hard to speak up about your own needs when you're used to putting other people first but just try it. Telling someone exactly what you want is pretty empowering.

 

 

Zero room for subtlety over here. #mothersday #mothersday2016 #bling #hint #wine

A photo posted by Ripped Jeans & Bifocals (@jillrobbins2012) on Apr 25, 2016 at 7:57pm PDT

3. Start a new tradition

Instead of waiting for someone else to do something nice for you, why not take charge and do something by yourself? I go to Target for a couple of hours by myself every Mother’s Day. Yes, blissfully alone. I’m trying to steer my family away from the “plan stuff for mom that will really just involve mom doing the same amount of work she does every day” sort of outings. Like brunch where I have to cut other people's waffles and take kids to the potty.

Have you thought about taking back Mother's Day? I’m officially old enough not to be excited about my birthday, so why shouldn't I make plans to make my mother's day into what I want it to be? If I want to hand my husband a box of cereal, give him a kiss on the cheek and say “I'm going to Target. If I'm not back before lunch, you know where we keep the mac & cheese” is that really such a bad thing? I think not. It certainly takes the pressure off of him to do and plan and guess what I want. I get some much-needed time to unplug – and for me that’s trying on clothes and buying throw pillows. Find something you can do for a couple of hours that makes you happy and then make that your new Mother’s Day tradition. This is one day out of the year where you’re probably not going to get too much argument on taking that “mama time out.”

4. Drink Wine

There are so many clichés that go along with motherhood. We drink wine. We wear yoga pants. We drive minivans. We spend too much time in our Facebook mom groups. Check, check, check and check. You can roll your eyes at mom clichés if you want to. Go ahead…roll them skyward. The reason clichés exist is because there are some truth to them.

People make memes and jokes and no-kidding serious comments about moms needing wine for a reason. Because moms need wine…at least this mom does. There are so many occasions that are made better (or at least bearable) with the addition of a really good bottle of wine. Maybe Mother's Day is one of those occasions.

I do love a good bottle of wine and I confess to being a little bit picky about the wine I buy. I might have been called a wine snob a time or two and that's okay. Meet my new favorite thing:

JaM Cellars 2014 Butter Chardonnay is the perfect wine for Mother's Day, or any day. A good buttery Chardonnay is my potion of choice right now so this wine is an extra special treat for me. This California Chardonnay is easy to love: it's rich, bold and luscious and made in the tradition of California winemaking. It's cold fermented to the absoltue perfect, rich creaminess that I love.

You know how they say butter melts in your mouth? Well, so does this wine. JaM Cellars 2014 Butter Chardonnay lives up to it's name and you better believe I have a bottle chilling just for Mother's Day. I haven't decided if I'll share it or not and that's okay.

If you want to find this butterliscious wine in a store near you, go to this handy wine finder.

You can find JaM cellars wine in Whole Foods, Total Wine & More, Bevmo, Kroger and HEB. There's an HEB about five miles from my house that carries JaM cellars, which makes me totally happy. It's one of the best new wines I've tried in quite a while. And, if you're wondering why it's called JaM cellars, it's named for John and Michele, the second-generation vintners who own and run it.  Pretty cool huh?

Butter and jam go together…and so does being a mom and this wine. Just try it…I don't give a ton of wine recommendations so trust me when I say this one is a keeper. I might not take myself that seriously but wine is another matter..and this one gets the Jill stamp of approval. If you don't like it, I'll come to your house and finish your bottle for you. I'm considerate like that.

So mamas, take charge of your Mother's Day this year. Keep your expectations realistic, keep this wine in your fridge and don't feel guilty about putting yourself first. You deserve it…and Happy Mother's Day!