Haters gonna hate: Pumpkin spice isn’t hurting you

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Ah, fall. The crisp cool weather. Getting ready for spooky season. The turning leaves. The frosty mornings and sunny afternoons. The fun of getting my sweaters out of storage. The joy of slipping my feet into my cute fall booties.  

That all sounds nice. Just one small problem: I live on the center of the sun (AKA San Antonio, Texas) so fall for us happens sometime in early February. Okay, I jest, but just a little. 

woman holding pumpkin spice latte.
Image credit: Shutterstock.

Updated 9/6/2023. See also, Texas September is still hot.

Summer is over. Forget the fact that it’s still a trillion degrees here and that I'm still dealing with mega boob sweat and having to paint my toes regularly because I'm still in flip-flops for at least another six weeks. I know it is fall because the 70 aisles of autumn leaves and sparkly, glittery pumpkins at Target tell me so. Costco already has Christmas stuff out which just seems so, so wrong. 

 

But you know what I love most about fall? Watching the pumpkin spice haters getting RILED UP. You know what I mean. Someone in your life possesses a deep, dark hatred for all things pumpkin spice they are lying in wait for someone to mention it. Then they pounce. 

Y'all. It’s flavored coffee. People look forward to it all year. Either that or they look forward to the whole “love to hate” aspect of it all. I don’t get why people get their undies in a bunch because the Internet goes on and on about pumpkin spice for a few weeks out of the year. 

Pumpkin Spice Latte earrings

Although I like my coffee to taste like coffee and nothing else, I would so wear these adorable earrings. 

Haters Gonna Hate – Pumpkin Spice Isn't Hurting You

I'm not a pumpkin spice latte girl. Just putting that out there. I like my coffee to taste like coffee, not pumpkin, gingerbread, peppermint, or whatever the current holiday season wants me to think my coffee should taste like. Coffee. I like the taste of coffee. 

But if that’s what trips your trigger and tantalizes your taste buds? Do you, boo.  

If you're a pumpkin spice hater, I say this: just get over yourself. It's flavored coffee. 

Pumpkin Spice Starbucks tee shirt

If you want everyone to know your stance on Pumpkin Spice at Starbucks, this tee shirt from Etsy will help you send that message.

1. Pumpkin spice is not the only seasonal consumer product that people go cray cray crazy over

The pumpkin frenzy will pass, and then it will be time for the internet to be outraged about the Elf on the Shelf and how we're ruining our poor children with all this naughty and nice talk.

Poor Thanksgiving. That’s my absolute favorite holiday and it gets so shafted.

2. Pumpkin spice isn’t hurting you

If your loved one has a pumpkin spice problem, odds are they're still behaving like a decent human being. Other than maybe having an expensive fancy coffee habit, pumpkin spice addicts are still generally productive members of society.

Pumpkin candle on Etsy

If you identify as a “pumpkin slut” this candle is for you. I might not love the taste of pumpkin spice in my coffee but I like the way it smells. 

Men don’t stay out all night drinking pumpkin spice with naughty women. Moms don't ignore their children's needs because they're focused on nothing but getting their hands around a warm cup of that foamy goodness.

Or do they?

3. Pumpkin spice isn't taking over the planet

Sure, it seems that way, but it's just for a little while. There are pumpkin spice-flavored bagels, cream cheeses, cookies, bakery products galore,  body lotions, candles, lip balm, and probably more. 

Pumpkin spice wants to be your friend. If it’s not your thing, just deal for six weeks. Pumpkin Spice will quietly fade into the background when its time comes. 

pumpkin spice latte socks

Socks with a message. It could work, right?

4. you know this stuff doesn't actually contain pumpkin, right?

Did you know pumpkin spice flavoring is actually pumpkin-free? It's made from the same type of spices that go in pumpkin pie. Nutmeg and cinnamon and other spices that smell nice. 

So. When it comes to fall, I think of pumpkin spice and I laugh because it seems like there are two kinds of people in this world: people who love pumpkin spice and people who love to hate it. Chill and find something else to appreciate about fall like the beauty of foliage, the heady smell of candy corn, or the fact that there’s not a giant stream of sweat rolling down the back of your neck toward your behind.

If a pumpkin spice latte or chai is too hard on your budget, grab a cute mug and some flavored syrup or creamer or some pumpkin spice flavored K-cups.

Etsy is a great place for pumpkin spice-inspired gifts and decor. If you know a PSL-loving person with a fall birthday, you're sure to find lots of fun stuff. 

 

 

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28 Comments

  1. Oh Jill, you always make me laugh. First, my condolences on ton living in the venter of the sun. I lobed in south Florida for 20 years – I get it! Second, I don’t care for Pumpkin Spice, either. Yuck. But I do get excited when I see the signs at Starbucks, because it means cooler temps are coming:). Also, oddly, I love the smell of pumpkin flavored baked goods. SO I get all warm and fuzzy when the sweet odor takes over bakeries.

  2. Ha! What an awesome, fun read to start out my day as I sit here and drink my daily cup of French Roast, black with a dash of sweet-n-low. No frilly flavors for this girl. Your images crack me up. Gosh, I can’t imagine a fall without sweaters, even though they make me smell like the cardboard box they were stored in (they’re such a pain to clean!) Lots of brilliance here, but I discovered your secret to making readers laugh out loud from this . . . ” giant stream of sweat rolling down the back of your neck toward your butt.” You see, most people would stop that sentence after “back of your neck.” But you take that extra effort to add “toward your butt.” And that’s why readers love you:)

  3. I am totally on the pumpkin spice bandwagon.. but I don’t know if it is because I really LIKE the flavor.. or if I just like to annoy people by talking about it. (perhaps its a bit of both)

  4. HA! This is so funny, Jill! Personally, I like pumpkin spice but don’t get all cray crazy about it. However, I get annoyed by that creepy elf on a shelf. I think he looks like a murderer. And poor Thanksgiving.

  5. I love pumpkin spice in many things, but coffee isn’t one of them. I haven’t put much thought into it though, so I can’t say I’m a hater. This was a fun post to read.

    Thanks for giving me a chuckle after a long day.

  6. I don’t like anything pumpkin – not the taste, smell, anything about pumpkin. I even think the word “pumpkin” is weird. Having said that, carry on pumpkin-lovers. With my blessing.

    P.S. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday too.

  7. Sooooooo…..the whole pumpkin spice thing kinda passed me by. I know it exists, I love me my pumpkin pie, but don’t need the whole world to taste like that. So I guess I’m pretty chill on that topic.

    As for Fall in February, where do I sign for that?

    😉

  8. I had my first pumpkin spice latte at Tim Hortons today (it’s Canadian–I doubt they’ve made it to San Antonio?) It was delicious…and probably the only one I’ll have all year as it is sweeter than a sweet tea on a front porch in Mississippi in August. 🙂

  9. Haha, you are so right! The poor pumpkin! It used to be a sign of Hallowe’en and carving jack-o-lanterns. The pumpkin used to be revered! Darn food industry went and ruined it for everyone…well, except me apparently. I’m the giddy lady in the Starbucks line dying for that first sip of a pumpkin latte and I’m not afraid to admit it 🙂 Thanks for sharing! #pumpkinineverything

  10. LOL!!! I get it – I do. It’s fun, it’s fall. It’s just IN YOUR FACE everywhere. And I don’t like the taste. But I’ll decorate the hell out of pumpkins! Love you even if we disagree!

  11. Awesome! I’m fairly cranky about herdlike, slavish fad following in general, but GOOD GAWD, I’d be so happy if people could stop bitching about pumpkin spice! (Although some of the sarcastic memes, like pumpkin-spice kitty litter and pumpkin-spice bleach, ARE pretty funny.)

    LOVED your article, will look forward to reading more of your stuff.

  12. I think this can fit in to SO many topics people bitch about on social media. I never understand it. If it doesn’t bother you or affect you then who cares! I am with you all the way on this one!

  13. Hi Jill – So glad I found your blog…I laughed all the way through this post…pumpkin spice and all…Bring on Thanksgiving(!)…but truth be told….I already got my Christmas tags at Costco…silly, perhaps, but one more thing off the crazy list dancing in my head. 🙂

  14. Haha hell yes!! As a avid pumpkin spice lover ( I admit I am basic) I live for this time of year. But you are right people loooooove to hate it. I on the other hand will sip on my PSL and laugh at the haters haha. Thanks for the share!

    XO,
    Ahoy Amigo Team